Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Sugar is the main cause for obesity in majority of people. A large number of processed food and drink products comprise extreme amounts of sugar, which is resulting in many health issues. In order to make individuals to consume less sugar, sugary products should be made costly. I partially agreee with this statement as it will hamper from business perspective.

In the one hand, sugar is the key reason for obesity and others related health problems. Consuming sugar in excessive amount is obviously harmful for health. In recent days, every manufactured foods somehow contain sugar in it. For instance, cold drinks like Pepsi, Mountain Dew and Coca-Cola which are popular among vast people contain sugar. Since individuals drink these cold drinks everyday for multiple times, they will be the victim of some sugar related diseases in the long run. Moreover, this is the indirect way of taking sugar in our body, there are also some direct ways of eating sugar as well through Tea, Coffee and several bakery items. Due to the devasting effects of sugar, it would be best to make such products more expensive by government by imposing high taxes so that people could think twice before buying beacuse of financial pressure from other sides. Furthermore, sugar is not mandatory for our body that is why even if we stop having it, there will not be any harms for our body.

On the other hand, if a state applies high tax on sugary products, the sale of such proucts will significantly decline because of high cost. Eventhough if it seems normal and fine but it badly affects the business model and economy as well. A lot of jobs will be in risks as several soft drinks companies and bakery shops will have to shut down.

In conclusion, making sugary products costly has positive aspects on people's health however, it should not be ignored that the contribution of sugar related business in the economy of a nation. This business point of view makes me partially agree with this statement.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you partially agree because higher prices may discourage sugar consumption, while also harming businesses and employment. You address both sides and give relevant examples, including soft drinks, bakery products, and possible job losses. However, the health argument is more developed than the economic one. The claim that businesses may close and jobs may be at risk is not supported with a specific explanation or example, and the conclusion largely repeats your position rather than drawing the reasoning together. Some claims, such as sugar being the main cause of obesity, are stated broadly. To strengthen the response, qualify such claims and explain more fully how price increases could affect consumers and businesses.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The progression from health benefits to economic drawbacks is easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the other hand” help distinguish the arguments. However, some linking is mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “Moreover” and “Furthermore,” and the first body paragraph contains several points that could be grouped more clearly. The opening phrase “In the one hand” also weakens the transition. Referencing could be more precise: for example, “such products” and “this business” could identify the products or industry more explicitly. Use fewer formulaic connectors and build clearer links between each claim and its supporting explanation.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “processed food and drink products,” “excessive amount,” “high tax,” and “financial pressure.” These choices make the subject clear, and you attempt some less common expressions. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “hamper from business perspective,” “victim of some sugar related diseases,” and “jobs will be in risks.” Spelling errors, including “devasting,” “beacuse,” and “proucts,” also reduce accuracy. Some wording is repetitive, especially “sugar” and “products.” Aim for more natural collocations and precise terms, and proofread spelling; this will make your vocabulary more fluent without requiring unnecessarily complex words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “Since,” “so that,” and “if,” and the main ideas remain understandable. However, some grammatical errors occur across the response. For example, “make individuals to consume” has an incorrect verb pattern, while “every manufactured foods” has a number-agreement problem. In “Consuming sugar in excessive amount is … harmful for health,” articles are missing, and “Eventhough if it seems” combines structures incorrectly. There are also punctuation issues, such as the comma splice in the conclusion before “however.” Review verb patterns, articles, singular and plural agreement, and sentence boundaries. More accurate control of these forms would make your varied sentence structures clearer.

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