Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Nowadays,many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which can causes many health issue.Some individuals believe that, Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. From my perspective, Numerous people are sugar eat food and drink.sugar is most most common food all over the world.

Firstly, Children eat chocolate,bescuit and drink in every time. It has many causes such as obesity, diabetes, and tooth damage. A large number of adults eat sugar food and drink in big restaurant with family in the evening.furthermore, people also use sugar in house, particular White sugar, jaggery, condensed milk, pastry,and jam. For example, Mostly parents are prepare breakfast to children with mixed sugar.Morever, many companies are making sugar food,and sailng in markets.individuals are spend a large amount in sugar products.In my opinion, people should that, use low level sugar food, because it make strong to people health. People should use vegetables, fruits, egg and fish,since it food is almostly low sugar.Many sugar products are damaged to people health.from which,people have in hospitals.Many bakeries are make to high level of sugar. People often buy cake from bakeries to their birthday and ceremony.l think that, people are more carefully, to eat sugar food and drink. occasionally, sugar products can most harmful, especially for children health.beacuse it damage health to an early age.In conclusion, School and social media also teach to parent benefits of low levels sugar food and drink. However, manufacturing food and drink products also damage people health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You mention relevant health effects, including obesity, diabetes and tooth damage, and you suggest alternatives such as fruit and vegetables. However, the central question is whether sugary products should be made more expensive, and your position on this is not clearly stated or supported. Most of the response discusses sugar consumption generally; it does not explain how higher prices might reduce consumption or why this policy would or would not work. The final reference to schools and social media introduces another measure without connecting it to your view on pricing. The response is also 23 words below the 250-word minimum; the 26 words copied from the task prompt are not counted. State your agreement or disagreement directly, then develop two reasons with relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is some attempt to organise ideas, with “Firstly” introducing a point and “In conclusion” signalling an ending. The response also moves from health effects to food choices and public education. However, the progression is difficult to follow because several different points are crowded into one long paragraph, and the relationship between them is often unclear. Connectors such as “furthermore,” “Morever,” and “However” do not consistently show how the ideas relate; the conclusion, for example, does not clearly follow from the discussion of prices. Repeated references to sugar products also make the response feel repetitive. Use separate paragraphs for your position, supporting reasons, and conclusion, and make each paragraph develop one main idea in a clear sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “obesity,” “diabetes,” “tooth damage,” “condensed milk,” and “manufacturing,” so the reader can identify the subject of your response. However, the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or awkward, which sometimes makes the intended meaning difficult to understand. Examples include “sugar eat food and drink,” “sugar food,” and “sailng in markets.” Spelling and word-form errors such as “bescuit,” “Morever,” and “beacuse” also reduce clarity. Aim to use precise collocations for the topic, such as “sugar-rich products,” “sell products,” and “reduce sugar consumption.” Learning a few accurate phrases about pricing and consumer behaviour would also help you address the question more directly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including a reason clause beginning “because” and a sentence using “since.” However, sentence structures are often incomplete or inaccurately formed, and errors in verbs, agreement, articles, and punctuation frequently interrupt the reader. For example, “which can causes” has an incorrect verb form, while “people are spend” and “many bakeries are make” use faulty verb constructions. Some sentences also lack a clear grammatical structure, as in “people should that, use low level sugar food.” Capitalisation and spacing around punctuation are inconsistent. Practise building accurate subject–verb sentences first, then add one subordinate clause at a time; check verb forms and sentence boundaries carefully before submitting.

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