Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays consumption of sugary products have been spiked up, which is the first and foremost reason of heath issues occurring in living being body. I completely agree on the increment of this consumables reasons will be explained in upcoming paragraphs.

First and foremost, This sugary products can cause various heath problems to human body like Diabetics, Blood pressure flucvation . For instance, An old man who eat sweets everyday will face surplus in sugar and can affected to type 2 diabecti. Futhuremore India is the one of the most diabectic affected countries.

Secondly, This type of products can be an addiction and later on can do some concerning damages for example a child having an ice-cream multiple time in week will get addicted to sweet tooth which is not good for both mentally and financially.

Thirdly, Expenses in this treatment are traumatic diseases that comes with this consumables can cause lot of financial burden. Cost of medicines, operations and reporting can cause major damage to any middle class individual. for instance, one of my relative is suffering from multiple heath problems because of this products and she is going through lot economically paying bills with cost 6 figures.

Making this food and drinking packages expensive buyers will think thing twice while purchasing it because it will shake their monthly budget and they might go for heathly options. For eg, a young lady is opting for pancakes which is loaded with Sweetness might think its expensive and will go for alternative and heathly option like multi grain cake so it will be win and win situation for that lady.

To conclued, Selling this products at higher rate is correct so people can consume less and go for options that is beneficial to their body and can do well in both fianancially and mentally

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction (“I completely agree”) and remains consistent in the conclusion. You address the proposed price increase and give relevant reasons, including health risks, treatment costs, and the possibility that buyers will choose healthier alternatives. The examples about a person with diabetes and your relative help make the points concrete. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained: the child’s “addiction” is not clearly linked to the effects of higher prices, and the financial-burden paragraph focuses more on treatment costs than on why raising product prices would reduce consumption. Develop each reason through a clearer cause-and-effect explanation and use more precise supporting examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, three reason-based paragraphs, a paragraph explaining the effect of higher prices, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First and foremost,” “Secondly,” and “To conclude” make the progression easy to follow. This coherent arrangement is a strength. However, the repeated ordinal transitions make the writing somewhat mechanical, and some links between ideas are unclear. For example, the paragraph about treatment expenses does not explicitly connect those costs to the proposed price increase, while “For instance” introduces examples that do not always directly support the preceding claim. Use more varied linking and make the relationship between each example and its main point explicit. Clearer referencing would also help readers follow who or what “this” refers to.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “financial burden,” “addicted,” “consumption,” and “healthier options,” and you attempt some less common expressions. However, the range and control are limited by frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word choices, such as “heath,” “flucvation,” “diabecti,” and “fianancially.” Some combinations are also unnatural, including “spiked up,” “surplus in sugar,” and “sweet tooth” in the context of becoming addicted. These errors sometimes make the reader pause to interpret your meaning. Build a reliable set of topic vocabulary and check spelling and collocations carefully. Prefer precise phrases such as “blood sugar levels rise” and “develop type 2 diabetes” over improvised expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional structure in “buyers will think twice … and they might go for healthy options” and a relative clause in “diseases that comes with this consumables.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “consumption … have” has subject–verb disagreement, “This sugary products” has incorrect demonstrative agreement, and “an old man who eat” uses the wrong verb form. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in the opening paragraph and the sentence beginning “for instance.” Practise agreement, articles, plural forms, and verb endings, then proofread each sentence for a clear subject and complete structure.

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