Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays , sugar has become common ingredient in majority of the manufactured food and drink products , which have detrimental effects on human 's health . In my perception , increasing the prices of sugary products will not help to minimize its consumption of people . There are numerous alternative ways to encourage people to consume less sugar .

The content of sugar has been increasing in food products most specifically soft drinks . Mostly the products which are eaten by children contains greater proportions of sugar such as chocolates , juices , candies , desserts and many more . It rises the level of insulin which is responsible for diabetes . In the tender age , the heath of children start degrading . It increases the blood pressure and invites possible risk of heart attack .

On the flip side , some amount of sugars are essential in diet . Doctors often recommend patients of low blood pressure to consume sugar . There are production of hormones which are responsible for craving of sugar from the Hypothalamus . By increasing the prices of sugary products will not result into less consumption of it by the people . Elite people will purchase it even-though it is expensive . Usage of alternative of sugars such as sugar free compounds serves the best option . Numerous sugar free tablets are available in the market , it gives sweet flavor and has less side effects on health .

To recapitulate , as healthy mind resides in a healthy body , alternatives of sugar that give exact taste and texture should be used in manufacture of sweet products . Along with the taste , it has less major effects on body .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you argue that raising prices will not reduce sugar consumption and propose alternatives instead. You also address the health risks, mentioning diabetes, blood pressure and heart problems, so the response is relevant to the question. However, the central claim about price increases is not fully supported: saying that “Elite people will purchase it even-though it is expensive” does not explain how most consumers would respond or provide evidence. The discussion of sugar being essential and doctors recommending it for low blood pressure is also not clearly connected to the proposal. Develop the opposing view and explain why your preferred measures would reduce consumption more effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The progression from health effects to your position and then to alternatives is generally understandable, and signposts such as “On the flip side” and “To recapitulate” help show the stages of the argument. However, the relationship between some ideas is unclear: the point about sugar being essential and the reference to hormones do not lead clearly to the claim about prices. The conclusion introduces taste and texture without having developed these points earlier. Use clearer links between each reason and your position, and make sure each paragraph develops one connected line of argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “detrimental effects,” “insulin,” “blood pressure,” “consumption” and “alternative.” These choices make the subject clear, and you attempt some less common expressions. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “craving of sugar,” “exact taste and texture,” and “invites possible risk.” There are also spelling and form errors, including “heath” and “sugars” where the general substance is meant. These do not prevent understanding, but they reduce precision. Aim for natural combinations such as “sugar cravings,” “similar taste and texture,” and “increases the risk of heart disease,” and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “which have detrimental effects” and a conditional idea about raising prices. The overall meaning is usually understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “common ingredient” needs an article, “products … contains” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “By increasing the prices … will not result” has a faulty sentence structure. There are also problems with articles, plurals and prepositions, as in “in the tender age” and “result into less consumption.” Punctuation spacing is inconsistent. Practise building accurate sentences around your main claims, then check agreement, articles and sentence boundaries.

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