Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Individuals argue whether to increase the prices of the sugary products or not. I totally agree with this idea, I'll explain my personal reasons.

First of all, sugary products cause low engery and more fat. Which leads to many health problems like dibates, brain fog. You can experience this too, when we eat desserts we felt sleepy afterward. Also the dibates is a gentic dease which not only harm you but it will also harm your next generations. In women, especially this leads to many harmonal issues too. So according to me, it is good if we make the desserts more expensive and also inforce the manfactures to use less sugar, it will leads to the less purchases of sugary items.

On the other hand, many people argue that this is not a good solution. Their main point is "Desserts are the source of happiness". We utilize them on special occusicans like birthdays,weddings etc. They link it with the source of happines but they forget to mention the after effects of this happy eating. In children, you can clearly see tooth issues because consumtion of sugary products. Their teeth fall before the average age. They also argue that this will harm the busniness of these products.

I have a cousin, who eat alot of candies, also he eat sugar, and now he has only signs of tooth not whole tooth becuase of the gum infection. Last but not least, making these products will leads to the less purchase, yes it will harm the businessman but it can lead to the healthy generation with less health problems and full of engery.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the opening: “I totally agree,” and you return to the idea that higher prices could reduce purchases. You also address an opposing view by noting that desserts are associated with happiness and that price increases may harm businesses. These points are relevant to the question. However, some claims are unclear or insufficiently supported, such as the statement that diabetes is genetic and harms future generations, and the link between sugary products, low energy and brain fog. The cousin’s tooth problem is a relevant example, but it supports health concerns more than the specific effectiveness of raising prices. Develop the central argument by explaining how higher prices would change buying habits and by supporting health claims accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph supporting your view, a paragraph presenting an opposing view, and a concluding point. Signposting such as “First of all” and “On the other hand” helps readers follow the broad direction. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven. The first body paragraph moves quickly from energy and weight to diabetes, hormones, and pricing, without clearly connecting each point. The final paragraph introduces your cousin’s experience and then repeats the claim that higher prices reduce purchases. Some linking is mechanical, and references such as “this” in “this leads to many hormonal issues” are not fully precise. Group related health effects together, then explain the pricing argument in a separate, clearly developed sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “health problems,” “consum[ption] of sugary products,” “gum infection,” and “business,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make the writing less clear, for example “dibates,” “gentic dease,” “harmonal,” “manfactures,” and “occasicans.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “low engery,” “the source of happiness,” and “signs of tooth not whole tooth.” Aim for accurate spelling and more precise collocations, especially when describing health effects and consumer behaviour. Using a few well-chosen terms such as “tooth decay” or “reduce consumption” would improve clarity without requiring overly complex vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex forms, including a conditional-style explanation (“when we eat desserts…”) and a contrast introduced by “On the other hand.” However, sentence control is inconsistent, and some structures are incomplete or faulty. “Which leads to many health problems” is a fragment, while “it will leads to the less purchases” has incorrect verb form and number. There are also errors in agreement and tense, as in “my cousin, who eat” and “when we eat desserts we felt sleepy.” Punctuation sometimes joins or separates ideas awkwardly, particularly in the opening sentence, where a comma joins two independent clauses. Practise complete sentence construction, subject–verb agreement, and consistent tense, then check each sentence for a clear main clause.

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