Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Sugar is the one of the most common ingredients when it comes to production of food and drink products, which has inevitable negative impact on health if used frequently. In order to avoid such problems, some believe high sugar containing products should be made more expensive. I completely agree with this point to bring overall welness, by intervention from government and self awareness from individuals it is completely aquireable goal.

To begin with, government should intervene with policies such as imposing high taxation on products which contain high levels of sugar. By implementing expensive taxation to cause price to go up, will discourage the sales of high sugary products, by making it challenging to afford by daily consumers. Especially consumption among the youngsters will fall rapidly because of the price. For example, by driving the price higher, children who daily consume cheap sugar prone products, have no choice but to seek alternatives.

Moreover, goverment also should focus on availibility of natural organic products on stores to alter the expensive high sugary products. Individuals are highly responsible for the encouraging the sales of high sugar products. They should educate the chidren about the consequences of freguent consumption of high sugary diet as well as avoiding such products on their diets too. There is a saying, children see, children do, by being a good role models and educating youngsters about negative consequences of sugar, it is possible to stop ongoing negative trend.

To sum up, through carefully planned governmental actions and policies as well as, individual responibilities it is possible to stop the popularity and frequent consumption of high sugary products. It will be one of the best, not if the most movements for overall wellbeing of the population.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you completely agree that higher prices can help reduce sugar consumption, and the conclusion returns to this view. You address the issue through both government action and individual responsibility, with relevant points about taxation, children’s consumption, and education. The example of children turning to alternatives helps support your argument. However, the response develops the broader health concern less fully than the proposed measures: it does not explain in detail how reducing sugar intake would improve health, and the point about making natural products available is introduced but not illustrated. To strengthen the response, explain the likely effects of a price increase and develop each supporting example more specifically.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting government and individual measures, and a concluding summary. Sequencing expressions such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “To sum up” make the progression easy to follow. The central argument is also maintained throughout. Some connections are less smooth, however: the first body paragraph moves from taxation to children’s choices without fully explaining the link, and the second combines product availability, personal responsibility, and role modelling in a crowded sequence. The phrase “as well as” in the conclusion is also punctuated awkwardly. Use clearer topic sentences and develop one connected line of reasoning in each paragraph to make cohesion less mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “high taxation,” “consumption,” “consequences,” and “alternatives,” and the meaning is generally understandable. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “governmental actions and policies.” However, inaccurate word forms, spelling, and collocations are noticeable and sometimes make the writing less natural: “high sugar containing products,” “expensive taxation,” and “sugar prone products” are not idiomatic, while “welness,” “aquireable,” and “availibility” are misspelled. Repeated use of “high sugary products” also limits precision. Build a more reliable range of natural collocations, such as “sugar-rich products” and “impose a tax,” and proofread spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a conditional clause in “if used frequently” and a reason clause beginning “because of the price.” The overall meaning can usually be followed, but errors in sentence construction and grammatical control are persistent. For example, “By implementing expensive taxation to cause price to go up, will discourage…” has no clear grammatical subject, and “government should intervene” and “individuals are highly responsible for the encouraging” show problems with articles and verb patterns. The opening sentence also has an unclear relative clause, while several long sentences join ideas with commas rather than clear sentence boundaries. Practise building complete clauses and checking articles, agreement, and punctuation, especially when combining several ideas.

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