Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

There are many products in market which contain high level of sugar in it.and it cause of many diseases like high diabaties and mostly people die just because the high level of sugar in their body. manifactured companies should be focus on their products and add less sugar in their products.

There are many health problems people face because they use high level of sugar in their regular products.

for example, people use soft drinks normally, in events, parties and even people visit someones house as a guest so they normally surved soft drinks, according to research there are high level of sugar in soft drinks.that cause of many health issues. people use high level of sugar in their routine,uses of ready made products which is the other big reason of health problems, like bakery items chocolates, pasteries, ice cream and sweets which is full of lot of sugar and cause the trouble of health.

On the other hand people do not eating home stuff and preffer

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify sugar as a health concern and give relevant examples, including soft drinks, bakery items, chocolates and ice cream. However, the central question is whether sugary products should be made more expensive, and your response does not clearly state whether you agree or disagree or explain how higher prices might change consumption. The opening instead recommends that manufacturers add less sugar, which is a different proposal. The final sentence is unfinished, so the argument and any conclusion are missing. The response also does not meet the required minimum length, leaving the task only minimally addressed. To improve, state your position directly and develop reasons and examples about the effect and fairness of price increases.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: you introduce the health issue, then provide examples of sugary products, and begin a contrasting point with “On the other hand.” This gives the reader some sense of direction. However, the progression is incomplete because the contrast is left unfinished, and there is no concluding paragraph to bring the argument together. Several ideas are crowded into one long paragraph, while links such as “for example” and “On the other hand” do not establish a fully developed relationship between the points. Use separate paragraphs for your position, supporting reasons and conclusion, and connect each example explicitly to the question of raising prices.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary such as “high level of sugar,” “soft drinks,” “health issues” and “ready made products,” so the general subject is understandable. There are also attempts to name specific foods, which helps make the examples concrete. However, vocabulary is often repetitive or imprecise, and several spelling and word-form errors distract the reader, including “diabaties,” “manifactured,” “surved” and “preffer.” Phrases such as “trouble of health” and “home stuff” are not natural choices in this context. Build a more accurate range for discussing health and pricing, and check spelling and collocations carefully. More precise wording would make your points clearer and more appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response mainly uses simple statements and makes some attempts to combine ideas, for example by giving a reason after “for example.” Meaning is generally recoverable, but sentence boundaries and basic grammatical patterns are not controlled consistently. In “There are many products in market which contain high level of sugar in it.and it cause,” articles and agreement are missing, and the sentence is incorrectly joined to the next clause. “people use high level of sugar” also uses an unsuitable grammatical pattern, while “people do not eating” shows an incorrect verb form. Capitalisation and punctuation are frequently inconsistent. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses, checking articles, subject–verb agreement and verb forms.

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