Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

People all around the world are becoming more susceptible to getting sick.The rate at which individuals are becoming ill has raised serious concerns among several segments of society.One major reason for the growing number of ailments is the increasing use of manufactured food and drink products.These products contain high levels of sugar and preservatives that cause numerous health problems.

It is being suggested that in order to discourage people from buying manufactured goods, is to increase prices.I firlmy agree with this approach.It has been proved via different economical experiments that when prices of unnecessary goods are increased ;the number of consumers decrease.There is an inversely proportional relationship between price and the number of products purchased.

Governments must look into this matter seriously and impose heavy taxes on such food items to ensure good dietry habits in the public. One example is ,a team of economists conducted a survey about how the increased prices of cigarettes decrease the demand of the product .The results showed that whenever the price was raised the demand declined .Manufactured food items are no less harmful then cigarettes ,the same policy should be devised to make people less inclined to buy these products.

In addition to increasing prices ,authorities ought to spread awareness about the detrimental affects of sugary items .People need to know that they are squandering their hard earned money on poison .When prices of such products are higher and are not affordable for a large section of society ,ultimately the demand too would decrease.This would result into a ripple effect on the overall economic and health sector of a country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you firmly support making sugary products more expensive, and you give relevant reasons, including reduced demand and possible health benefits. The cigarette-price comparison is a useful example, and you also mention public awareness as a complementary measure. This covers the task, but some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, the claim that manufactured foods are “no less harmful than cigarettes” needs qualification or evidence, and the final “ripple effect” on the economy and health sector is not made specific. To strengthen the response, explain how higher prices would change purchasing habits across different groups and develop the likely health outcomes with a concrete example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall structure: it introduces the health concern, states your position, develops the tax argument, and adds awareness-raising as a further measure. Linking phrases such as “In addition” and “This would result” help show relationships between ideas. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. The opening repeats the idea of rising illness across several sentences, while the final paragraph moves quickly from affordability to a broad economic effect. The cigarette example is relevant, but its link to sugary foods would be clearer if you explained the comparison rather than treating the products as equivalent. Use more precise referencing and ensure each paragraph develops one main point in a clear sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “manufactured food and drink products,” “impose heavy taxes,” “detrimental,” and “demand declined.” These choices communicate the main argument, and some less common expressions show an effort to be precise. However, several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or overly dramatic: “dietry habits,” “squandering their hard earned money on poison,” and “ripple effect on the overall economic and health sector” weaken the academic tone. There are also spelling errors, including “firlmy,” “economical,” and “affects” where “effects” is intended. Aim for accurate, measured phrasing and check spelling and word forms carefully; this would make your vocabulary more natural and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, and the main meaning is generally clear. For example, the sentence beginning “When prices of such products are higher” uses a subordinate clause to express a consequence. Some grammatical and punctuation errors remain, however. In “It is being suggested that in order to discourage people from buying manufactured goods, is to increase prices,” the clause structure is incomplete and the comma interrupts the sentence. There are also agreement and article problems in “the number of consumers decrease,” and punctuation spacing is inconsistent. Practise building complete clauses and checking subject–verb agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries. More consistently accurate complex sentences would improve control without sacrificing the range you are attempting.

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