Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Many manufactures companies make high sugar products. The consumption of high sugary food can lead to severe health problems. While if governtment can implement strict policies on sugary foods and made it more expensive and encourages people will reduces the consumptiom. In my opinion, i believe that it causes the serious health complications. If administration implement some strict policies it will be curable.

The reason why i support this view is that the major concerns of health. Firsty, sugar is a artificial sweetner that enhanced the flavour of food. But people made it habit. It spikes the glucose level in human body that cause diabetes and obesity. Moreover, artificial sweetners such as candies, chocolates and juices are served to the guests in gratitude. These things attracts to humans and they pick easily without knowing it is harmful in case if they are diabetic patients. Therefore, the adds of sugary food is more way common in the society and watched by many children. After that they demanded of that food. For instance, children with over consumption may lead to obesity which indicates several other diseases such as cardiovascular disease.

While some advocate that others assert that can reduce the effect. Meanwhile, through some strict implements can overcome the consumption. If governtment can deliver some motivational speechs and tell the residents about pros and cons of these products. Secondly, putting a law that imposes the tax on overconsumption. It forced to residents for less consumption.

From my prespective, through strict policies and motivation it encourages people to leave the sugary items

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You take a position in favour of government action, referring to higher prices, policies and public education, and you give relevant health examples such as diabetes, obesity and cardiovascular disease. These points show an understanding of the topic. However, the response only partly develops the central question of whether sugary products should specifically be made more expensive. The tax idea appears briefly, while much of the discussion shifts to general policies and motivational speeches. The opening also says the health effects are “curable,” which does not clearly support your argument about pricing. To strengthen the response, state your agreement or disagreement directly and explain how higher prices would change purchasing, perhaps with a concrete example, then develop the counterargument or clarify why other measures are less effective.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, supporting discussion and conclusion, and linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Therefore” and “For instance” help signal relationships. However, progression is difficult to follow because ideas are sometimes joined without a clear connection. For example, the paragraph moves from sugar’s effect on glucose to serving sweets to guests, then to children seeing advertisements, without explaining how each point supports higher prices. The sentence beginning “While some advocate that others assert” is unclear and does not establish a coherent contrast. Paragraphing and linking are therefore present but not consistently effective. Use one main idea per paragraph, make each example explicitly support it, and replace vague transitions with clear relationships such as “A further reason” or “Although education helps.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “consumption,” “health complications,” “diabetes,” “obesity” and “cardiovascular disease,” which helps communicate the subject. There are also attempts at more formal expressions, such as “strict policies” and “imposes the tax.” However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make meaning less clear. “Artificial sweetner” is not an accurate description of sugar, and “the adds of sugary food” appears to mean advertisements. Other phrases, including “strict implements” and “overconsumption,” are awkward or imprecise in context. Spelling errors such as “governtment,” “prespective” and “consumptiom” are noticeable. Build a more precise set of topic phrases and check spelling and collocations when revising.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a cause-and-effect sentence about sugar and diabetes and a conditional structure beginning “If government can…”. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence construction, verb forms and agreement frequently make the reader work to understand the point. For example, “While if government can implement… and made it more expensive and encourages people will reduces” combines incompatible clause patterns and verb forms. In “These things attracts,” the subject and verb do not agree, while “children with over consumption may lead to obesity” gives the wrong grammatical relationship between the child and the outcome. Practise building complete sentences with one clear main clause, then check subject–verb agreement and consistent verb forms. This will make your ideas easier to follow.

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