Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Many health problems have arisen because the sugar content in different processed foods and beverages is extremely high; the prices of such products should be made higher to discourage people from consuming them. No, I don't agree with the statement, as there are no valid reasons for this; people's lifestyles also play a major role in causing health problems. Businesses can be affected by the companies manufacturing these types of products.

With the growing technological advancement, people are more inclined to use mobile phones rather than being involved in any form of physical activity. This causes excessive laziness in people, and they gain excessive weight, which leads to a higher risk of diseases. People of any age group should avoid consuming an excessive amount of junk food; consuming significantly less amount of sugary food does not do create any worse consequences.

Companies producing sugary foods have created several job opportunities; it has also helped to uplift the lives of farmers who produce sugar cane. Sugar cane is an important factor for manufacturing sugar. The business has economic and financial benefits for society and the nation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear disagreement in the opening, and the points about inactivity and employment in the sugar industry are relevant to the topic. However, the response addresses the question only partially: it does not explain in enough detail why raising prices would be ineffective or unfair, nor does it compare this measure with alternatives. The claim that “there are no valid reasons” is not supported, and the discussion of mobile-phone use shifts attention from the proposed price increase. The economic point also needs a clearer link to the consequences of making products more expensive. The response is 185 words, below the required 250, so there is limited space to develop and support the position. Add specific explanations and examples for each main reason.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an identifiable structure: an introduction followed by paragraphs on lifestyle and employment. This gives the reader some sense of how your disagreement is organised. However, progression between the ideas is limited, and the final paragraph does not provide a conclusion that restates your position or draws the reasons together. Some links are unclear: the move from mobile-phone use to sugary food does not explain how it answers the pricing proposal, while “The business” in the final paragraph has an uncertain reference. Use topic sentences that directly connect each paragraph to your position, develop one point at a time, and add a concluding paragraph. Clearer referencing and transitions would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonably varied set of topic-related vocabulary, including “processed foods and beverages,” “physical activity,” “excessive weight,” and “job opportunities.” These choices allow you to discuss health and economic effects, and the meaning is generally clear. Some phrasing is repetitive or imprecise, however: “excessive” appears several times, and “higher risk of diseases” is broad. There are also awkward collocations, such as “uplift the lives of farmers” and “the business has economic and financial benefits.” Aim for more precise, natural combinations and avoid repeating the same intensifier. For example, specify which health conditions or economic benefits you mean, rather than relying on general terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of sentence forms, including a complex opening with a semicolon and a sentence beginning “With the growing technological advancement.” Most sentences are understandable, and you use clauses to explain cause and effect. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly in longer constructions. In “consuming significantly less amount of sugary food does not do create,” the article and verb pattern are faulty; “does not do create” should be simplified to “does not create.” The sentence about companies also shifts from plural “Companies” to singular “it,” making agreement unclear. Review articles, subject–verb agreement, and sentence boundaries, and check each complex sentence for a complete, correctly formed structure.

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