Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

I strongly agree that the sugary products shouled be expensive to reduce their consumption.if the price of these produts increases so people move towards the healthier choice and this is the effective way to improve public health.

on one hand making sugar produts more expensive will discourage more people to buy them.in pakistan,espically the young people like to drink coca cola and sting that highly contains sugar.if the governement increase the taxes in this products so their cost will be increase and less people will buy them.For example, if a bottle of soft drink costs 200 instead of 100 so many of the people prefer to drink fresh juice and water.And this is similar to what happened to the cigarettes.if the price was increased people reducede smoking.

on the other hand, high consumption of sugar cause many health problems like diabates,obesity and sevear heart problems and governement has responsibility to protect the health of the people.In my country diabetes are becoming very common even in young people because thet started eating unhealty food and drinks.If sugar products become more expenvise so people avoid to buy that products and they prefer healty food. and if the governement increase the tax on that unhealty products the more tax will be collect which can be used for the help of public like constructing school and hospitals.

some people argue increase in price is not good for poor people.but i think nothing is importantr then health.

In conclusion,I completely agree that the prices of sugary products have to be increased.This will not only reduce sugar consumption but also improve the overall health of society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the opening and conclusion: you strongly agree that sugary products should cost more. You address the main parts of the question by explaining that higher prices may discourage purchases and by linking sugar consumption to health problems. The examples of soft-drink prices, young people in Pakistan, and cigarette taxes make the argument relevant. This meets the task well, while showing some of the development expected at a stronger level. However, several claims need fuller explanation: for instance, the suggestion that extra tax revenue could fund schools and hospitals is introduced but not connected clearly to the central argument. Develop each reason with a more precise explanation or example, and acknowledge the effect on low-income consumers more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting reasons, a brief counterargument, and a conclusion. This gives the reader a general sense of direction. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow, and linking phrases are used mechanically. The repeated “on one hand” and “on the other hand” do not clearly signal two contrasting sides, since both paragraphs support your position. Some ideas are joined abruptly, such as the move from health effects to tax revenue, and the counterargument is only briefly addressed. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main point, then explain and support it in a clear sequence. Make references such as “that products” more precise so the connections between ideas are easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “sugar consumption,” “public health,” “taxes,” “diabetes,” and “obesity.” The examples also make the argument understandable. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, spelling, and collocation errors are noticeable, sometimes making the reader pause. Examples include “highly contains sugar,” “sevear heart problems,” “unhealty food,” and “more expenvise.” Repeated use of “products,” “people,” and “increase” also limits precision. Build a small set of accurate topic phrases, such as “sugar-sweetened drinks,” “raise the tax on,” and “discourage consumption,” and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would help express the argument without relying on repeated general words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if the price … increases” and a contrast introduced by “some people argue.” These attempts help convey cause and effect, but control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence boundaries, verb forms, agreement, and articles are frequent enough to affect fluency. For example, “if the governement increase the taxes … their cost will be increase” has problems with subject–verb agreement and the passive form; “high consumption of sugar cause” also needs agreement. Several sentences run together without appropriate punctuation, particularly in the opening and the soft-drink example. Practise accurate conditional patterns and divide long sentences into complete clauses, checking each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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