Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's rapidly changing world, sugar has been noticed to cause many health problems which has become a matter of considerable debate. Many preservative foods and drink products consists of large amounts of sugar, which usually results in health problems such as obesity, diabetics and cholestrol which can be seen in many people. While others believe that products which contains sugar should be sold at high costs so that it people could not afford it. I strongly agree with this view as it does not solve the problem because many there are many people who could not afford to buy such items on regular basis and may eventually stop buying.

One of the main reasons why sugar is considered as a threat to human life is because it contains preservatives which can lead to severe health problems such as obesity, diabetics and cholestrol. As a result, such food items should be sold at high prices so that majority of the population could avoid buying and consuming such products. For example, certain chocolates, carbonated drinks and deserts usually costs higher because of the sweetners it has in those products. Therefore, it would make the buyers think twice before buying.

Moreover, many younger generation consume such sugary products to satisfy their taste buds, however it leads them towards health problems. If people started consuming right food which is good for health then over the period they can see improvements in their health such as good sleep, less sugar cravings, fat loss and less prone to diseases. This practice will results in less obesity, diabetics and less heart related problems.

In conclusion, although it would take time for people to adopt into such drastic changes but it would certainly lead towards a good healthy habit by avoiding manufactured products containing high sugar, instead they can go for products which contain natural sugars.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is stated clearly in the introduction, and you return to the idea that reducing sugar consumption would improve health in the conclusion. You also give relevant examples, including chocolates and carbonated drinks, and mention possible benefits such as reduced obesity and heart problems. However, the argument is not fully consistent: you say you agree that sugary products should cost more, but then write that this “does not solve the problem” because some people cannot afford them, which sounds like a reason to disagree. The main supporting points also need fuller explanation. Clarify how higher prices would change purchasing habits and address whether this measure would affect all consumers or mainly those on lower incomes.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the ideas generally move from the health risks to possible changes in consumption. Linking expressions such as “As a result,” “Moreover” and “In conclusion” help signal these stages. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. In the introduction, the sentence beginning “I strongly agree” is difficult to follow because it immediately says the measure “does not solve the problem.” The second body paragraph also shifts from younger people’s consumption to the benefits of eating well without clearly connecting that point to higher prices. Make each paragraph develop one central reason and use clearer references between claims and examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “health problems,” “carbonated drinks,” “sugar cravings” and “heart-related problems,” and you attempt more specific terms such as “preservatives.” However, the range is limited in places, and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or imprecise. For example, “preservative foods” does not clearly mean manufactured products, while “diabetics” refers to people with diabetes rather than the condition. “Cholestrol” and “sweetners” are also misspelled, and “deserts” appears to mean “desserts.” These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the general topic, but they reduce precision. Build a more accurate set of topic phrases and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “while,” “because” and “although.” The overall meaning is usually understandable, but errors in agreement, verb forms and sentence construction recur. For instance, “products consists” should use a plural verb, and “products which contains sugar” also needs plural agreement. The phrase “it would make the buyers think twice” has an unclear pronoun reference, while “This practice will results” combines incompatible verb forms. Some sentences are also awkwardly joined, particularly the opening sentence of the introduction. Review subject–verb agreement and verb patterns, and divide or restructure sentences when the relationship between clauses is unclear.

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