Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Desserts and beverages have been used widely in celebrating every occasion since years. Most of these manufactured drinks and food products are made from the materials contains high sugar levels that could cause health issues to many individuals.This essay will argue that how alternate methods can be used to reduce the use of sugar in these products instead of only rising the product prices.

Mostly people preferred manufactured food and drinks because these are easily available worldwide and used as must have beverage after meal specially in some cultures.These company made food products used preservatives and high levels of sugar to give a perfect taste.The white sugar is a main causing agent of cancer according to many researchers.For instance , a normal cup of tea or coffee contains 1-2 spoon of sugars and soft drinks contain sugar levels more than water itself. other chemicals like preservatives and carbon monoxide also causes many medical problem. However , people are well aware of the consequences of these manufactured products but the consumption of these beverages are remained stable or even increased from previous years.

On the other hand, increase in the prices of these desserts and beverages make financial burden on people and as a result of this initiative,the consumption of sugar will reduce by time.I partly agree with this statement because it can limit the use of manufactured foods for people who are financially not stable meanwhile it does not affect the rich people.By contrast , if manufacturers launch zero sugar drinks and food and some alternative of white sugar like brown sugar,jaggery to add sweetness would be better way to stop the use of sugary foods.These are not harmful substances like sugar and would not affect people's health.

Overall, the consumption of manufactured food and drinks cannot be stoppable but the use of other alternate methods in terms of health safety can be achieved with some efforts of manufacturers and food inspection teams rather than only rise the amount of these widely used products.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You give a clear, relevant position: you partly agree that higher prices may reduce consumption, but argue that alternatives such as sugar-free products would be more effective. This addresses the question, and examples such as sugar in tea and soft drinks help illustrate the health concern. However, some points are asserted rather than explained. For instance, the claim that white sugar causes cancer is presented as fact without support, and the proposed alternatives are not clearly compared with price increases in terms of likely impact. Develop the reasoning by explaining how price changes might affect different consumers and why manufacturers would adopt healthier recipes. A more balanced, evidence-based discussion would make the argument more convincing and fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph describing the problem, a paragraph presenting your position and alternatives, and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “On the other hand,” “For instance,” and “Overall” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes uneven: the first body paragraph moves from availability and preservatives to cancer, drink examples, and consumption trends without clearly connecting each point. Some transitions also feel mechanical, and references such as “these” or “this initiative” are not always precise. Group related ideas together and use clearer topic sentences, then explain how each example supports your argument. This would make the organisation easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “manufactured products,” “preservatives,” “consumption,” “financial burden,” and “alternative.” These choices allow you to discuss health, pricing, and consumer behaviour. You also attempt more specific expressions, but some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “must have beverage,” “causing agent,” “sugar levels more than water itself,” and “not harmful substances like sugar.” Spelling and word-form issues, including “stoppable” and “alternate methods,” also reduce precision. Aim for natural collocations and distinguish clearly between sugar and other sweeteners rather than making broad claims about their safety. More accurate phrasing would make your ideas clearer and more persuasive.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “because,” “however,” and “if,” and the main meaning is generally understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with subject–verb agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries. For example, “materials contains” should use an agreeing verb, while “these company made food products used” has an unclear and inconsistent verb structure. In “the consumption … are remained stable,” the subject and verb form do not agree. Several sentences also run together after full stops, as in “individuals.This essay,” and punctuation around examples is inconsistent. Review agreement and tense patterns, and separate complete sentences carefully. Greater accuracy across these structures would strengthen the response.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.