Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Sugar is very useful product that we use in our daily life but it also cause many health problems. Some people think many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which cause many health problems. I agree with this opinion it cause many problems like sugar level has been incresed, chlorestrol problems, blood pressure problems and many more diseases.

For childerns, sugar is very unhealthy. For example, if mothers use sugar from start of the day it many cause many unhealthy problems. If a mother gives a choclate to toddler baby it causes serious disease. However, mother uses sugar free products to keep their baby healthy.

Now we talk about young ones, youngesters use sugar too much in their daily life. Specially if they eat too much choclates, toffees, ice-creams , shakes etc it contain a high level of sugar. Nowadays youngers use too much cold drinks they drink cold drink in a day and it also contains a high level of sugar. Fast food are the major cause of diseases. However, youngers should not use too much sugar. They should avoid sugar and do not add sugar in their daily routine because it increases fatness. They should not use too much cold drinks and avoid fast food.

In conclusion, Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Parents should give less money to their childern so they only fulfill their basic needs instead of waste money on sugary products. Parents should know what their child eat in a day.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a position—“I agree”—and identify health concerns, including blood pressure and weight gain, so the response is relevant to the topic. However, the task asks whether making sugary products more expensive is an effective way to reduce consumption, and this central proposal is not explained or supported in the body. Most of the response instead advises parents and young people to avoid sugar, with examples such as sweets and cold drinks; these ideas are repetitive and not sufficiently developed. The conclusion repeats the prompt’s proposal without giving a reason for agreeing with it. The response is also 13 words below the 250-word minimum, with 22 words copied from the prompt excluded from the count. Develop the price argument and support it with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure: it introduces the issue, discusses children and young people, and ends with a conclusion. This gives the reader some sense of organisation. However, progression is limited because the body paragraphs repeat the general advice to avoid sugar rather than building a connected argument about higher prices. Linking words such as “However” do not always show a clear contrast, and the shift from children to “young ones” and “youngers” is repetitive. The conclusion introduces parental control over spending without connecting it clearly to the proposed price increase. To improve, organise each paragraph around one distinct reason, use clear references to connect ideas, and explain how each example supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough basic topic vocabulary to communicate the general subject, including “sugar,” “health problems,” “cold drinks,” and “fast food.” There are also attempts to use more specific terms, such as “blood pressure” and “sugar-free products.” However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “too much” and “high level of sugar.” Some choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “sugar level has been increased” and “increases fatness,” which make parts of the argument less clear. Spelling errors, including “childerns,” “choclate,” and “incresed,” are noticeable. Build a wider set of accurate health and pricing vocabulary, and check spelling and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer sentences with clauses, for example, “Some people think many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which cause many health problems.” This shows an effort to connect ideas, but the longer structures are often inaccurate. Errors include missing articles (“Sugar is very useful product”), subject–verb agreement (“it also cause”), and plural agreement (“products contain high level”). Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, particularly in the opening paragraph, where several ideas are joined into one long sentence. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise accurate basic sentence patterns first, then add subordinate clauses, checking articles, verb agreement, and punctuation in each sentence.

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