Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that sugary products should be made more expensive so that it can give motivation to people to use less sugar. I completely agree with this point of view as consuming sugar can lead to various health problems such as obesity and diabetes. Secondly, it can become very addictive because of the dopamine hit that comes after eating sugar. So, if the price of sugar would be expensive people will think twice before buying the pack of sugar. Also, making packaging dangerous can also help them to consume less sugary items.

Nowadays, different types of manufactured food and drink products contain very high level of sugars, which can lead to various kinds of health issues. So, if the price of sugar would be expensive, it can give motivation to people to not buy it, because it can give them different types of health benefits such as less laziness and less drowsiness and also can help to rewire their brain to not consume sugar unless it's very essential. For instance, if a person who is poor and had health problems like diabetes will think twice before buying the pack of sugar, which can indirectly help their health.

Moreover, companies, which are making high level of sugary products can assign a warning sign in their packaging that it can damage your health and have lots of sugar, same as cigarettes packets. This type of strategy can enter in subconscious mind and perhaps people would not buy packs of sugar. For example, in Germany there are some jellies and biscuits which are rated as "E" which means its bad for the health.

In conclusion, I agree that sugary products should be expensive as it can trigger lots of health problems. So making packaging dangerous and products expensive can help to achieve this view.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the opening: you completely agree that sugary products should cost more, and you return to this view in the conclusion. You give relevant reasons, including health risks and the possibility that higher prices may discourage purchases. However, these points are not developed equally. The claim that a price increase would help a person with diabetes is relevant, but the example needs clearer explanation of how the policy would reduce their sugar intake. The discussion of warning labels and “E” ratings shifts attention away from the question of price, and the link between these labels and reduced consumption is asserted rather than demonstrated. Develop the pricing argument with a specific mechanism or example, and explain how any additional measure supports your main position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The paragraphs generally group related ideas, and signposts such as “Secondly,” “Moreover” and “In conclusion” help show the direction of the argument. However, progression is sometimes mechanical, and the central price argument is interrupted by a separate discussion of packaging warnings. Several links are also unclear: “this type of strategy” refers to the warning signs, but the claim that it enters the subconscious does not explain the connection to buying decisions. Repeated use of “So” and “For example” makes the flow predictable. Use clearer links between each reason and your position, and organise the body paragraphs around distinct, fully explained points.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “manufactured food and drink products,” “health problems,” “diabetes,” “addictive” and “warning sign.” This gives you enough language to communicate the main ideas. However, several expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as “give motivation,” “use less sugar,” “high level of sugars” and “making packaging dangerous.” The repeated use of “sugar,” “health” and “products” also limits variety, while phrases such as “less laziness” do not express the intended health benefit clearly. Aim for more precise collocations and distinguish between sugar as an ingredient and sugary products as items for sale. More accurate phrasing would make your argument sound clearer and more academic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “as,” “which” and “because,” and the overall meaning is usually understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly in conditional forms and agreement. For example, “if the price of sugar would be expensive” should use a more suitable conditional structure, and “products contain very high level” needs an article or plural form. In “a person who is poor and had health problems,” the verb forms do not fit together consistently. There are also awkward sentence constructions, such as “it can give them different types of health benefits,” which make relationships between ideas harder to follow. Practise accurate conditionals, articles and agreement while retaining your attempts at longer sentences.

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