Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In contemporary society, sugar is a matter of considerable debate nowadays due to the fact many manufactured food and drinks products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. From my perspective, sugary products should be more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Moreover, sugar play very significant role in our society however, the excessive use of sugar can creates several issues for our health.

To begin with, the most crucial factor is related to create many health problems for our young generation. In addition, nowadays every company use sugar in every food which results in diabetes.

Similarly, everyone cannot afford sugar and their expenses. less use of sugar can reduce many serous health problems. Sometimes, diabetes is the main reason for the death of elderly citizen. For instance, numerous people use a lot of sugar and they also add sugar in their every meals. However, these habits are very dangerous and it can also leads to increase the rate of debates patients in the hospitals.

On the other hand, the another significant reason is to protect children's teeth. Furthermore, many children eat different junk food and junk food maintains a lot of sugar. which can cause to the infection of teeth. Additionally, people also eat healthy foods instead of those products which have a lot of bad sugar. Such as, a person who is poor and he eat different sugar foods, as well as if the sugar will more expensive consequently, people would change their habits and eat more healthy diet.

In conclusion, this essay has discussed the agree view point of high level of sugar. Furthermore, many manufactured food and drink products have a lot of sugar and which results in many serous health issues. As far as i concerned, sugary prices should be more increased to save people from bad issues.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you agree that sugary products should cost more, and you give two relevant reasons—health problems and children’s dental health. The examples about diabetes and children eating junk food help keep the response on topic. However, the reasons are only partly explained. For instance, you say higher prices could change people’s habits, but do not explain how this would work for people who already rely on inexpensive processed food, or whether price increases would affect all consumers equally. Some claims, such as sugar being used in “every food” and diabetes being a main cause of death among elderly people, are broad and need more precise support. Develop each main point with a clear explanation and a specific, credible example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the paragraphs broadly separate health effects from dental effects. This gives the reader a basic structure. However, progression within the paragraphs is often unclear: the sentence about people being unable to afford sugar and their expenses does not connect clearly to the surrounding point, and the discussion shifts between diabetes, death and hospital patients without a clear sequence. Linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “Similarly” and “However” are repeated or do not show the intended relationship. Some punctuation also breaks the flow, as in “junk food maintains a lot of sugar. which can cause…”. Organise each paragraph around one claim, then explain and illustrate it in a logical order, using links only where they clarify that order.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “manufactured food and drink products,” “excessive use,” “diabetes” and “healthy diet,” so the reader can identify the subject and your main concerns. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear. For example, “junk food maintains a lot of sugar” and “increase the rate of debates patients” do not express the intended meaning naturally; “bad sugar” is also imprecise. Spelling errors such as “serous” and “view point” further reduce accuracy. Aim for precise phrases such as “products contain high levels of sugar,” “the number of diabetes cases” and “tooth decay,” and check spelling and word forms during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a reason clause with “which” and a conditional idea about prices changing people’s habits. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence boundaries occur frequently. Examples include “sugar play” instead of “sugar plays,” “can creates” instead of “can create,” and “every company use” instead of “every company uses.” The conditional sentence beginning “if the sugar will more expensive” is also not grammatically formed. Sentence fragments and punctuation problems, such as “which can cause to the infection of teeth,” make some relationships harder to follow. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and build longer sentences from a clear main clause, checking each clause for a complete verb.

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