Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

A lot of factories makes food and drink put the large amount of sugar and in this condition it effect on health. So sugar product should too expensive so people does not buy this product and use less sugar. I agree this statement and now i will discuss this statement.

To commence, many companies does not focus on human health and they are attention only on profit. In many factories when the product is ready so they are use a great many sugar and it effect on health. When the people eat food and drink juices so they are start dieases in bodies like sugar, and diabetes. Addition, when the children eat the sugary things so it effect on teeth. The sugary product dimage the childs teeths. So the companies should product mor expensive however, the people buy less food and drink and save the life.

On the other hand, if the food and drink more expensive so people does not buy this product and the companies faces the a lot of loss. furthermore, sometime people want the eat the sweet in different occasion like wedding ceremoney, brithday party, and cultural festival,so it should not highly expensive.

In conclusion, it bad effect on health but it is necessity of life. To put it inshall,people should not used the sugary things because life is very important and sugar effect on health. We should try to control use this products and live in happy life. And do not buy this things

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear position in the introduction (“I agree”) and discuss health effects, including diabetes and damage to children’s teeth. However, the response only partially develops the argument about whether higher prices would reduce sugar consumption. The claim that companies would “faces the a lot of loss” is not explained, and the point about sweets at celebrations is not connected to a clear overall position. The conclusion also shifts towards personal advice rather than summarising why price increases are or are not effective. The response is one word below the required minimum, so it does not meet the task’s length requirement. Develop each main point with a specific explanation or example and make your position consistent throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “To commence,” “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help show the intended structure. The first body paragraph focuses on health effects, while the second introduces a counterpoint about cost and special occasions. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the move from companies’ profits to children’s teeth and then to making products more expensive needs clearer links. Several connectors are mechanical or inaccurately used, including “Addition” and “however,” and repeated references to “this product” make connections less precise. Organise each paragraph around one main claim, explain it in sequence, and use linking phrases only where they express the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “profit,” “diabetes,” “sugary,” “cultural festival” and “expensive,” so the reader can identify the subject and your main concerns. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repeated, particularly “sugar,” “food and drink” and “effect on health.” Errors in spelling and word choice sometimes make the message harder to follow, as in “dimage,” “dieases,” “necessity of life” and “put it inshall.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “start dieases in bodies” and “save the life.” Build a wider set of accurate expressions for health impacts, pricing and consumer behaviour, and check spelling and collocations so your ideas are conveyed more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and attempts to form complex sentences are often inaccurate. Subject–verb agreement errors occur in “factories makes” and “companies does not,” while verb forms are incorrect in “people does not buy” and “people should not used.” Articles, plurals and sentence construction also need attention, as in “the childs teeths” and “when the product is ready so they are use.” These recurring errors sometimes make the reader pause to interpret your meaning. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using clauses such as “because” and “although,” checking agreement and verb forms.

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