Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

PROCESSED FOOD AND BEVARAGES CONTAIN LARGE AMOUNT OF SUGAR WHICH CAUSE DETRIMENTAL EFFECTS ON HEALTH. GOVERNMENT SHOULD IMPOSE TAX AND MEDE THESE PRODUCTS EXPENSIVE SO THAT PEOPLE CAN NOT BUY THESE RODUCTS AND CONSUMPTION OF SUGAR WILL REDUCE. I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH THIS BEACAUSE HEALTH IS WEALTH.

SCIENTISTS SAY THAT SUGAR IS SWEET POISON. IT LEADS TO MANY ADVERSE HEALTH ISSUES FOR INSTANCE DIABETES WHICH IS THE ROOT CAUSE OF LARGE NUMBER OF OTHER DISEASES. NOWADAYS NUMEROUS INDIVIDUAL RELY ON MANUFACTURED OR PROCESSED FOOD, CONTAINING HIGH PROPORTION OF SUGAR. MOREOVER, CARBONATED DRINKS ARE THE SOURCE OF SUGAR. DIABETES MELLITUS AND DIABETES INSIPIDUS ARE THE MAJOR DISEASE CAUSED BY THE SUGAR THAT RESULT IN WEIGHT GAIN, SLOW HEALING PROCESS, INCREASE THIRST AND HEART DISEASES.

ANOTHER SIGNIFICANT EFFECT IS ON THE HEALTH OF CHILDREN. DOCTORS SAY THAT CHILDREN SHOULD AVOID SUGAR AS MUCH POSSIBLE AS THEY CAN DUE TO THE FACT THAT ITEMS LIKE CANDIES, CHOCOLATES BISCUTS CAN CAUSE DENTAL PROBLEMS IN CHILDREN. INSTEAD OF SUGAR THAT IS PRESENT IN PROCESSED FOOD, THESE FOOD ALSO GO THROUGH VARIOUS PROCESSES AND MAY BE A CAUSE OF CANCER. CONVERSELY, SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT THESE PRODUCTS ARE NOT BAD FOR HEALTH. THEY ARE FOR TASTE AND HAVE NO SERIOUS EFFECT ON HEALTH.

FROM MY PERSPECTIVE, I STRONGLY BELIEVE THAT GOVERNEMENT SHOULD TAKE SERIOUS ACTION AGAINST IT. THEY SHOULD IMPLEMENT STRICT LAWS AND REGULATIONS. IN MY OPINION THEY SHOULD IMPOSE TAX ON THESE PRODUCTS AND MAKE THESE ITEMS HIGHLY EXPENSIVE SO THAT THE CONSUMERS WILL NOT BUY THESE KINDS OF THINGS. DUE TO THIS INDIVIDUALS ARE MOTIVATED TO CONSUME LESS SUGAR.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the opening and conclusion: you agree that government should tax sugary products to reduce consumption. You address health effects, including diabetes and dental problems for children, and explain the proposed tax. These are relevant responses to the question. However, some points are asserted rather than developed: for example, the claim that processed foods may cause cancer is not explained or supported, and the discussion of diabetes lists effects without showing how higher prices would change people’s choices. The opposing view is mentioned briefly but not examined. To strengthen the response, develop fewer points with a clear explanation or example linking the tax to reduced consumption and improved health.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, paragraphs on health effects, and a concluding recommendation. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Another significant effect,” and “From my perspective” help signal the direction of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes uneven. The paragraph about children moves from dental problems to cancer and then to an opposing view, without clearly connecting these ideas. References such as “these products” and “these food” are not always precise, and the conclusion repeats the tax proposal rather than drawing together the main reasoning. Group related points more carefully and use clearer links to show how each example supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “processed food,” “carbonated drinks,” “dental problems,” “strict laws and regulations,” and “impose tax.” Some less common expressions, such as “adverse health issues” and “detrimental effects,” show an effort to use formal language. However, spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural combinations are noticeable, including “BEVARAGES,” “MEDE,” “BISCUTS,” and “sweet poison.” Phrases such as “large amount of sugar” and “the source of sugar” also need more natural wording. These issues do not prevent the main message from being understood, but more accurate spelling and collocation would make the argument clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “which,” “that,” and “so that.” This gives the response some structural variety. However, errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence construction recur. For example, “large amount of sugar … which cause” needs agreement and an article, while “the major disease caused by the sugar that result” has mismatched number and an unclear clause. The sentence beginning “Instead of sugar that is present…” is difficult to follow because its structure does not clearly express the intended contrast. Work on accurate subject–verb agreement and build longer sentences around one clear main clause; this will improve control without sacrificing complexity.

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