Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this globalized world, most of processed food is rich in high level of sugar, which can be a major cause of many health issues. In this essay we discuss the products made up of sugar should be financially unaffordable to move people toward promote less sugar. In my opinion sugar should be restrain but also make it a restricted product.

Firstly, sugar is the major cause of fatal disease diabetes. Sugar boost the sudden spike of sugar level in blood. We can also say that diabetes can lead to more life-threating disease like heart attack, fatty liver, Renal disorders etc. Through all aspects in today's world obesity become more common to people with time and use of excessive sugar is the leading cause of it. One of the major consequences daily essentials like bread, instant coffee, tea, flavored jams etc. contains unnecessary amount of sugar. According to recent research about 86% of humans suffered from sudden break down of health which can caused by excessive sugar consumption.

Secondly, most better way of getting instant energy is sugar as sportsmen could get instant energy but in moderate quantity. During extreme body workouts edible sugar boost the energy level. As we know that sugar contains glucose and it is the main source of energy for the brain functioning. It can also enhanced the taste and flavor of food.

In the conclusion, if sugar have benefits but in several scenarios have more negative effects. Sugar should be used with proper measured quantity according to your necessity. By avoiding high sugar contained products towards natural alternatives we can overcome this global issue.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify health risks such as diabetes and obesity, and you acknowledge that sugar can provide energy and improve food’s taste. However, the response only partially answers the central question: whether sugary products should be made more expensive. Your opening shifts to saying sugar should be “a restricted product,” while the conclusion recommends measured use and natural alternatives, so your position on price is not clear or consistent. The health points are relevant, but several are asserted rather than explained; for example, the claim about “86% of humans” needs a credible, clearly connected example or should be omitted. Develop a consistent view on price and explain how higher prices would change consumption and improve health.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “Firstly” and “Secondly,” and a conclusion. This gives the reader a basic route through the ideas. However, progression is uneven: the first body paragraph moves from diabetes to other diseases, obesity, food examples, and an unsupported statistic without clearly linking each point. The second paragraph presents benefits of sugar but does not explain how they relate to the proposed price increase. Some linking phrases, such as “Through all aspects” and “As we know,” do not make the relationship between ideas clear. Use topic sentences that directly support your position, and connect each example to the question of pricing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “excessive sugar consumption,” “obesity,” “natural alternatives,” and “instant energy.” These choices show an effort to discuss health and nutrition beyond very basic terms. However, noticeable word-choice and collocation problems sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow, as in “financially unaffordable to move people toward promote less sugar” and “sudden break down of health.” Some expressions are also imprecise, such as “fatal disease diabetes” and “unnecessary amount of sugar.” Aim for natural, accurate combinations and check word forms and spelling. More precise terms for taxation, consumption, and health outcomes would help you express the argument clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer structures, including “As we know that sugar contains glucose and it is the main source of energy for the brain functioning.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors affect clarity. Examples include “most of processed food is,” “Sugar boost,” “obesity become,” and “if sugar have benefits,” which show problems with articles, agreement, and verb forms. The opening sentence also contains an unclear construction: “In this essay we discuss the products made up of sugar should be…” Work on building complete clauses and checking subject–verb agreement, articles, and verb forms. Shorter, accurate sentences would make your ideas easier to understand before you attempt more complex structures.

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