Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Some countriues, people prefer the manufactured the food and drink products but some people prefer to the fresh food and drink products. I partly agree in this opinion and i will discuss in details.

First, some people preper to manufactured food and drink products.In my opinion manufactured food and drink not save to the health people face the different health problems.manufactured food and drink produsts contain high levels and the other side sugary products made more expensive.

Second, people prefer to the fresh food and drink products.I think people should made and use the fresh food and drink.Fresh drink and food not contain high levels of sugar and not a health problems.Manufactured food and drink was very expensive and not a fresh so people prefer to the fresh food and drink.For example, ahmad is my friend and he prefer to the manufactured food and drink but he face the health problems so fresh food is good.

In conclusion, some people prefer to the manufactured the food and drink but other people prefer fresh food and drink it will be save

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the topic of sugary manufactured products and state, “I partly agree,” so your response has a relevant starting position. However, the essay does not clearly explain whether making sugary products more expensive would reduce consumption, which is the central question. Instead, it shifts towards saying fresh food is healthier and preferred. The example about Ahmad mentions health problems but does not explain what caused them or how higher prices would change his choices. The conclusion repeats the contrast between manufactured and fresh food without resolving your position. The response is also 70 words below the required minimum, leaving too little space to develop reasons and relevant examples. Address the pricing proposal directly and explain both sides of your partial agreement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs beginning with “First” and “Second,” and a conclusion. These markers help the reader recognise the intended stages of the essay. However, the ideas do not progress clearly from the question to a supported answer. The first body paragraph combines preferences, health risks, sugar levels, and price without showing how they connect. The second paragraph repeats the preference for fresh food, and the conclusion largely repeats earlier points. Some links, such as “but” and “For example,” are present, but relationships between claims are often unclear. Give each paragraph one main purpose and use linking phrases to explain cause, contrast, or consequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is basic and closely tied to the topic, with repeated use of “manufactured food and drink products,” “fresh food and drink,” and “health problems.” This repetition limits precision and makes some points difficult to follow. There are also inaccurate word forms and spellings, including “countriues,” “preper,” and “produsts,” as well as the unclear phrase “not save to the health.” You do communicate the general contrast between processed and fresh food, but need more accurate topic vocabulary to express the argument about price and consumption. Practise useful phrases such as “sugar-sweetened products,” “reduce consumption,” and “health risks,” and check spelling and collocations when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Most sentences use simple patterns, and there are attempts to connect ideas with “but,” “so,” and “because.” However, sentence boundaries and basic grammatical forms are frequently inaccurate. For example, “I partly agree in this opinion and i will discuss in details” has problems with the preposition, capitalisation, and sentence construction. In “people should made and use,” the verb form is incorrect, while “he face the health problems” lacks subject–verb agreement. Several sentences run ideas together without clear punctuation, as in “manufactured food and drink not save to the health people face the different health problems.” Use short, complete sentences first, checking subjects and verbs, articles, and punctuation; then practise combining them accurately.

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