Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dietery supliments on a massive scale posses humongous quantity of sugar into them these days,which creates an alarming situation regarding health issues. Sugary articles must be made more costly to help homo sapiens to have control on their intake.

In my opinion, consuming large amounts of sugar effects body's mechanisim and welcomes varies types of illnesses openly. Raising the prices of products containing loads of sugar can be an extraordinary step by discouraging people on a massive scale on spending lots of money on health concerning items, leaving a enormous impact on decreasing sales and saving many lives in the long term.

To commence on this, diabaties is a leading illness in the modern times also known as a silent killer not just only limited to a particular range but, destroying all sorts of age groups under its influence. Another raising factor is obesity highly common across the globe commonly caused by the excessive consumptions of sugar if not taken care of properly later leading to diabaties and other fatal illnesses.

In conclusion, this could be turned into a uncontrolable situation if not taken seriously keeping an eye on the raising numbers of suspects showing up everyday. In my perspective, as living in a third world country every other person next door if affected by the overly use of sugar including my own father, lack of knowledge and poor medical facilities are more concerning in such countries and precautions and prohibition must be taken out on such products including Pakistan, as well as across the globe accordingly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you support making sugary products more expensive, and you identify health risks such as diabetes and obesity. The personal reference to your father and the discussion of limited medical facilities in Pakistan also make the response relevant to the prompt. However, the central policy argument is not fully developed: you say higher prices could reduce sales, but do not explain how this would change people’s choices or consider possible limitations, such as affordability or other ways to reduce sugar consumption. Some claims, including that price increases would “sav[e] many lives,” need explanation or evidence. Develop each main reason with a specific example and connect it directly to the proposed price increase.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction to supporting points and a conclusion, and the ideas generally relate to your position. Paragraphing helps distinguish the health effects from your concluding perspective. However, progression within the body is sometimes unclear: the second paragraph moves from the effects of sugar to the impact of higher prices without a fully explained link, while the paragraph on diabetes and obesity lists consequences rather than developing a connected argument. Phrases such as “To commence on this” and “In conclusion” make the organisation visible but can feel mechanical. Use clearer links between cause, policy, and expected outcome, and make references such as “this” more specific.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of vocabulary, including “alarming situation,” “excessive consumption,” “fatal illnesses,” and “lack of knowledge,” which helps communicate the topic. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, and some spelling errors reduce precision: “Dietery,” “supliments,” “diabaties,” and “uncontrolable.” Expressions such as “Sugary articles,” “welcomes varies types of illnesses openly,” and “health concerning items” do not sound natural in this context. The use of “homo sapiens” is unnecessarily formal and distracts from the argument. Aim for precise, conventional collocations and check spelling; this will make your vocabulary more effective without needing unusually elaborate wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “if not taken care of properly” and a longer sentence about the effects of raising prices. Meaning is generally recoverable, but some grammatical errors make sentences difficult to follow. For example, “consuming large amounts of sugar effects body's mechanisim” has problems with the verb form and possessive structure, while “if not taken care of properly later leading to diabaties” is an incomplete construction. The final sentence also contains several clauses joined without clear grammatical control. Practise building complex sentences around one clear main clause, then check articles, agreement, verb forms, and punctuation.

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