Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowdays, many processed food and beverages contains excessive amounts of sugar and regular consumption of sugary products may lead to serious health problems. Some people believe that by increasing the price of these products may discourage their consumption. I largely agree with this view because higher prices can reduce sugar consumption.

Commencing with the most salient reason that making of surgary products expensive can discouraged individuals from purchasing regularly. Many masses particularly young people, consume soft drinks, chocolates, sweets and other processed food because they easily available and affordable. Morever, if their price increases people think twice before buying them. However, as result they may choose healthier products such as fruits, juices and organic vegetables. For example, Increased rates of sugary items people shift to healthy products instead of sugar.

On the other hand, reducing sugar consumption significantly improves health realted problems. Excessive sugar intake is one of the major causes of obesity and can increase the risk of serious diseases such as type 2 diabties. Moreover, making expensive sugary products encourage individuals to reduce their daily sugar intake. However, this can decrease number of cases that people are suffering from diseases which caused by sugar. For instance, Masses who regularly reduce their sugar beverages can decrease the risk of developing the serious problems.

To conclude, My point of view is by reducing the consumption of sugar

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You take a relevant position, stating that you “largely agree,” and give two reasons: higher prices may change purchasing choices, and lower sugar intake may improve health. The examples of soft drinks and type 2 diabetes are also relevant. However, the response only partially develops the argument. The link between price rises and choosing fruit or vegetables is asserted rather than explained, and the health paragraph largely repeats that expensive products will reduce intake without showing how this policy would work. The conclusion is incomplete (“My point of view is by reducing the consumption of sugar”), so your final position is not fully restated. The response is also 23 words below the required minimum. Develop each reason with a clearer explanation and a specific, relevant example, then finish with a complete conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and an attempted conclusion. The paragraphs each focus on a relevant aspect of the argument, which gives the reader some overall organisation. However, progression is limited because ideas within the paragraphs are not always connected clearly. “However” is used where the relationship is closer to a result or addition, and the repeated references to reducing sugar consumption make the argument feel circular. The second body paragraph also moves from health effects to policy without fully explaining the connection. The conclusion stops before completing the thought. Use linking words that accurately show cause and result, develop one point at a time, and ensure the final paragraph completes the essay.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “excessive amounts of sugar,” “affordable,” “obesity,” and “risk of serious diseases.” These choices make the subject clear, and you attempt more formal expressions such as “the most salient reason.” However, several inaccurate or unnatural choices reduce precision: “making of surgary products expensive,” “Many masses,” and “healthy products” are awkward in context. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “Nowdays,” “Morever,” “realted,” and “diabties.” Some phrases, such as “sugar beverages,” are unclear. Aim for natural collocations and check spelling carefully; precise, straightforward wording will be more effective than formal-sounding phrases that do not fit.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional idea about what consumers might do if prices rise. However, errors are frequent, and some sentences are difficult to interpret. For example, “many processed food and beverages contains” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “by increasing the price of these products may discourage” lacks a clear grammatical subject. The sentence beginning “Commencing with the most salient reason” is also not formed as a complete, natural clause. In the conclusion, “My point of view is by reducing…” does not complete the sentence. Practise building clear subject–verb sentences first, then add subordinate clauses with accurate agreement and verb forms. Proofread each sentence to ensure it expresses a complete idea.

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