Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In modern times, alot of individuals consume sugary products, which have high level of sugar and manufacture produce product like drinks and food because many people liked it and consumed every day. Government should be made this products more expensive; moreover, for that people encourage to consume less sugary foods and drinks. In my opinion, i completely agree with this view of point.

Firstly, sugary drinks and foods are unhealth for people because it contain a lot of calories and fat which encourage individuals to gain fat and weight also for using sugar people become lazy. For instance, nowadys everyone in world consume a lot of processed food and sugary drinks for taste. Also people went to fast food resturanents; while people consume more processed food in over time, they have alot of health issuse and become patient od many diseases.

Secondly, when government encourage people to eat healthier and implement taxes on unhealth food and used that money in health care sector; and make ads about eat healthy, it will encourage people to consume healthy food expect from sugary drinks and processed food. For example, in current time all ages specialy teenagers eat more processed food and these people gain weight and have alot of fat storages in body; Moveover some people trying to encourage people health via social media when government encourage with these people to makes ads about healthy life; people will engaged with healthy lifestyle.

In conclusion, government should encourage people to eat healthy and become fit in life; also sugary drinks and processed food have negative effects on human health because it contain bad fat.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: “I completely agree,” and the response stays focused on sugar-related health concerns and government action. You give relevant reasons, including weight gain and the possible use of tax revenue for healthcare, and you add examples about teenagers and processed food. However, the argument does not fully explain the specific proposal of making sugary products more expensive. The first body paragraph mainly discusses health effects, while the second shifts to healthy-eating campaigns and advertising without explaining how higher prices would change purchasing habits or why this measure would be effective. Develop that link with a concrete explanation, and support the claims about laziness and disease more precisely, so the main ideas are clearer and more fully extended.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signposted by “Firstly” and “Secondly,” and a conclusion. This makes the main stages of your argument easy to identify. Some progression is also present, moving from health effects to possible government measures. However, connections within sentences and between ideas are sometimes mechanical or unclear. For example, “when government encourage people to eat healthier and implement taxes …; and make ads” combines several actions without showing how they relate, and “Moreover” introduces another point without a clear link to the previous claim. Use shorter, more clearly connected sentences, and make each paragraph develop one central point. Clearer references to who “these people” means would also improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “processed food,” “health care sector,” “taxes,” and “healthy lifestyle,” so the reader can follow the general subject. There are also attempts to express more specific ideas, such as “fat storages in body.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make parts of the response difficult to read: “unhealth,” “patient od many diseases,” and “people will engaged” are examples. Repetition of “people,” “sugary,” and “processed food” also limits precision. Build a bank of accurate topic phrases, such as “sugar-sweetened products,” “obesity,” and “reduce consumption,” and check spelling and word forms before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses with “because,” “when,” and “which.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors in sentence construction and agreement occur in several places. For example, “Government should be made this products more expensive” does not form a correct passive construction, while “it contain” and “people will engaged” have agreement or verb-form problems. Some sentences also join multiple clauses with semicolons or conjunctions in ways that make their structure unclear. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, articles, and verb forms, then divide long sentences into complete clauses. Aim to retain complex structures while checking that each clause has a clear subject and verb.

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