Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is said that alot of health issues are due to the use of products which contain excessive amount of sugar. To overcome these problems, it is suggested to increase the prices of such products which will make people avoid sugar based products. I disagree with this statement and to support my opinion i will share two reasons along with examples in below paragraphs.

First of all it is not an excellent way to increase the rates of products which involve the use of sugar or contain sugar because this action will not only effect the retail shop businesses but alot of labours working in sugar industries will face job lose. If businesses do not operate or do not have enough revenue then they decrease or delay the salary of their staff, which will lead to country wide emergency situation. Because if workers are not getting their pay, their family's activites like education of kids will be effected. This will have a bad impact on the life of kids which are the future of nation and may lead them to mental illness.

Secondly, the government should provide alternate of sugar which can be used in products made with sweet or contain sugar. This may be a good replacement for product containing high quantity of sugar. This action will not effect anyone extremely in terms of money. Along with this government and doctors should spread awareness for the bad impact of sweet products on human health such as diabetes and obesity which is the mother of diseases and can alter functioning of human internal organs.

In conclusion, there is always uniform solution to everything so sugar products cost should not be up, instead, exchange of such items will be done with those, which contain ingredients in exchange for sugar. People should be well educated in terms of diet and the food they consume so they can choose and decide wisely, which they may use.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction (“I disagree”) and remains consistent in the conclusion. You give two relevant lines of argument: possible effects on businesses and workers, and alternatives such as sugar substitutes and public-health education. The health examples of diabetes and obesity also connect to the prompt. However, the first argument is not fully convincing as support for opposing higher prices: the link from a price increase to business closures, delayed wages, and a “country wide emergency situation” is asserted rather than explained or evidenced. The second paragraph offers more practical alternatives, but does not explain how they would reduce sugar consumption or why they would be preferable to a price measure. Develop these links and support them with a specific example to make the response more fully persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signposted by “First of all” and “Secondly,” and a conclusion. This makes the overall argument easy to follow. Within paragraphs, however, some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “Because if workers are not getting their pay” is a fragment, and the chain from workers’ pay to children’s education and mental illness needs clearer explanation. The conclusion introduces “uniform solution,” which does not clearly summarise the preceding argument, and the final sentence is difficult to follow. Use linking expressions to show precise cause-and-effect relationships, and make sure each paragraph develops one central point in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “excessive amount of sugar,” “alternate of sugar,” “awareness,” “diabetes,” and “obesity,” so the reader can understand the subject and your main ideas. However, the range and control of word choice are limited, and several phrases are unnatural or imprecise. Examples include “increase the rates of products,” “job lose,” “country wide emergency situation,” and “uniform solution.” Repetition of “products,” “sugar,” and “effect” also limits flexibility. Some spelling and word-form errors, such as “alot,” “activites,” and “effected,” are noticeable. Build a more precise set of collocations for discussing taxation, employment, substitutes, and health, and check spelling and word forms during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “If businesses do not operate or do not have enough revenue then they decrease or delay the salary of their staff.” This shows some range, and the main message is generally understandable. However, some sentence structures and punctuation are inaccurate. “Because if workers are not getting their pay” is an incomplete sentence, while “there is always uniform solution to everything so sugar products cost should not be up” joins ideas without clear punctuation or grammatical control. There are also errors with articles, agreement, and verb forms, as in “an excellent way,” “which is the mother of diseases,” and “which may use.” Practise complete sentences and review article use, subject–verb agreement, and clause boundaries.

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