Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is an undeniable fact that various heath issues in people are increasing rapidly due to the manufacturing of food and beverages that contain high levels of refined sugar. Some individuals agrue that to reduce the consumption of over sweet eatiers, authorities should make them more expensive. This essay will discuss this perspective in detail and I firmly disagree with this solution for various reasons which will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs

It is evidently believe that consumption of sugary products is extremely dangerous for our health. Long-term consumption of such products can lead to numerous irreversable heath problems such as high blood pressure, diabities and many more. For instance, due to the extremene consumption of such contaiminated food items, children are suffering from major diseases such as obesity and diabities at a very young age. Consequently, suffering to such diseases their whole life.

Although, there are many impacts of this notion on the population, authorities cannot simply increase the prices of sugar. Our country produces tons of sugar in a m

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a clear position—“I firmly disagree”—and identify relevant health effects, including high blood pressure, diabetes and childhood obesity. However, the response addresses the question only minimally: it does not explain why making sugary products more expensive would be ineffective or offer a developed alternative. The final paragraph begins, “authorities cannot simply increase the prices of sugar,” but the supporting point about domestic sugar production is cut off, so the reasoning is incomplete. The example about children is relevant but needs explanation or evidence. The response also falls 77 words short of the required minimum, leaving the argument substantially underdeveloped. To strengthen your response, explain your reasons fully, support them with examples, and complete the essay with a conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph about health effects and a paragraph beginning to explain your disagreement. Linking expressions such as “For instance” and “Consequently” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, progression is limited because the second body paragraph ends mid-sentence (“Our country produces tons of sugar in a m”), and there is no conclusion to bring the argument together. “Although” at the start of the paragraph does not clearly connect the contrast to the preceding point, while “Consequently” introduces a fragment rather than a complete sentence. Develop one main point per paragraph, make the relationship between ideas explicit, and finish each paragraph and the essay with complete thoughts.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt some topic-specific vocabulary, including “refined sugar,” “consumption,” “long-term consumption” and “high blood pressure,” which helps communicate the subject. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: “heath,” “agrue,” “eatiers,” “irreversable,” “diabities,” “extremene” and “contaiminated.” “Contaminated food items” is also not an accurate way to describe sugary products; “high-sugar foods” would be clearer. Some phrases are awkward or imprecise, such as “impacts of this notion on the population.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. A more controlled set of topic-related terms would make your argument clearer without relying on difficult or unsuitable wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including “Long-term consumption of such products can lead to…” and a sentence beginning “Although…”. However, control is inconsistent, and several sentences are incomplete or awkwardly constructed. “Consequently, suffering to such diseases their whole life” is a fragment without a main verb, and “Although, there are many impacts…” uses a subordinate clause without clearly completing the contrast. The opening sentence is also difficult to follow because its structure does not clearly connect the health problems to the products. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check that subordinate clauses are followed by a main clause. More accurate sentence boundaries and punctuation will help your ideas come across reliably.

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