Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

I'm Highly agreed with half of the point aas food and drinks contain high level of sugar and colistrol in it which effects our body and fitness but this is not a solution to make these product expensive as for me rightnow these products are already very much expensive to affrod for a middle class person but making it more expensive can effect our economy as well as import and export of our country so in my opinion government should provide a margin of adding sugar and makesure that these product making companies follows it properly as now a days it is becoming a serious problem in our society as mostly people are dignosed sugar patients instead of taking medicine they are having these products coldrinks chips as their snacks and cheat meal, Also government should introduce some social media ads ehich should aware people about these product that containing lots of sugar can highly effect your health. Also if while manfacturing they will add less sugar or add with some margine then it won't cause health concerns for any one also it won't effect our economy and goods selling in the market, anyone from children to old people can have it if they are not seriously dignosed with sugar health issues. Also my second opinon would be government should restrict children less then 12 having this in more quantity and if they take this in regularly their parents will be fined so its their duty to stop them having it regularly and in school time its their teachers duty to stop them. For me thats two important points what we can prevants to stops having these high sugar products.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall response against making sugary products more expensive, and you offer alternatives: regulating the amount of sugar, public-awareness advertising, and restricting children’s access. These ideas are relevant to the question. However, the position is not fully consistent: you begin by saying you “agree with half” of the point, then argue that higher prices are not a solution, without clearly explaining which part you accept. Several claims, such as the effect on the economy and the prevalence of diabetes, are asserted rather than supported with a specific explanation or example. Develop one or two main reasons in more depth and directly compare the likely benefits of price increases with your proposed measures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response contains several relevant points, and words such as “but,” “also,” and “as” show attempts to connect them. However, almost the entire answer is presented as one long paragraph, so the reader cannot easily distinguish your position, supporting reasons, and conclusion. Ideas also move quickly from affordability and the economy to sugar regulation, advertising, and children’s behaviour. Repeated use of “also” and long chains of clauses make the progression difficult to follow. Organise the essay into clear paragraphs, each with one central point, and use linking phrases to show how the evidence supports that point. A brief concluding paragraph should restate your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “high level of sugar,” “health concerns,” “manufacturing,” and “economy,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make parts difficult to read, such as “colistrol,” “affrod,” “dignosed,” and “cheat meal.” Some expressions are also imprecise: “a margin of adding sugar” does not clearly describe a proposed limit, and “sugar patients” is not a natural term. Build a more accurate set of phrases for discussing public health and policy, and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would help you explain your ideas without changing their meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to express complex relationships using clauses with “as,” “but,” and “if,” and you include some modal forms such as “should provide” and “won’t cause.” However, the response relies heavily on long sentences joined by commas, and these often contain faulty clause structure or unclear connections. For example, “I'm Highly agreed with half of the point” is not grammatically formed, while “government should provide a margin … and makesure” shifts incorrectly between verb forms. There are also recurring problems with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine ideas using accurate subordinate clauses. Check each sentence for a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

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