Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, many manufactures utilize high level of sugar when creating their food and drink products to attract more customers as sugar can in some cases become an addiction .Some argue that the best solution to reduce the consumption is by making those products more expensive .However ,I strongly disagree with this opinion and I would call to held those manufactures accountable .

One major reason why I believe this suggestion will not solve the problem ,in contrast it may make it worse ,is that sugar can become an addiction for certain people ,thus increasing the cost of the sugary products will not push them towards less consumption .For example, if a company rised the cost of selling but the demand remained constant ,it will gain more money, thus it will be able to invests in producing more sugary goods to profit more .

In the other hand, the manufactures should be the one held accountable for those toxic products. They should utilize a portion of the profits to invest on research and development department ,so they can study the implications of the excessive usage of sugar on the human body because in many cases sugar consumption can develop to helath problems like diabities which is a permenant disease.

Taken together, the manufacture is the first responsible for ensuring a healthier products that follow a strict standards and guidlines .Neverthless ,this does not means that the goverement should not play a substantial in supervising those greedy cooperations and also raise public awarenss of sugar disadvantages

To conclude, raising the cost of sugary products will not be an effective solution to convince people to stop consuming them.Goverment and manufactures should work together to find practical alternative .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you disagree with making sugary products more expensive, and the conclusion restates this view. You also offer relevant alternatives, particularly holding manufacturers accountable and having government supervise them. The example about a company raising prices while demand stays constant supports your argument, and the reference to health effects gives the discussion a relevant focus. However, the response does not fully explain how manufacturer-funded research would reduce sugar consumption or ensure healthier products; research alone may not change what companies sell. The claim that higher prices could increase profits also needs clearer reasoning. Develop these points with specific measures, such as reformulation targets or clearer product labelling, to make the argument more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two main paragraphs, a further summary paragraph and a conclusion. The progression from the effect of price increases to manufacturer responsibility and government oversight is generally understandable. Linking expressions such as “For example,” “Taken together” and “To conclude” help signal the stages of the argument. At times, however, connections are mechanical or unclear: “In the other hand” does not accurately introduce the contrast, and the relationship between the paragraph about research and the later call for government supervision could be made more explicit. The final body paragraph also repeats ideas from the conclusion rather than extending the argument. Use clearer transitions and ensure each paragraph develops one distinct point.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, including “consumption,” “addiction,” “profits,” “research and development,” “implications” and “supervising.” These choices allow you to discuss both health effects and possible policy responses, and some less common terms show an effort to express ideas precisely. However, several word-choice and collocation problems reduce naturalness, such as “held accountable for those toxic products,” “invest on research,” and “play a substantial in supervising.” Spelling errors, including “helath,” “diabities,” “permenant” and “awareness,” also detract from accuracy. Review common collocations and proofread spelling; more precise wording would make your argument sound more fluent and convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if a company raised the cost … but the demand remained constant” and clauses explaining causes and results. This gives the response some structural variety, and the main ideas are usually understandable. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction remain noticeable. For example, “it will be able to invests” should use the base verb after “to,” while “the manufacture is the first responsible” has an unclear grammatical construction. There are also run-on or poorly punctuated sentences, particularly in the opening and final body paragraph. Check subject–verb agreement, verb patterns and sentence boundaries, then edit each sentence for accuracy while retaining your complex structures.

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