Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Much of the foods and beverages contain exceeding amount of sugars that contribut to major diseases and disorders. Therefore, it is widely believed that making those products expensive, people will get discouraged to by them. I disagree with the statement as diet and exercise is the solution to this problem.

Major food companies use high levels of sucrose to attract more buyers. General populace, who are long term of consumer sugary drinks are at a greater chance of developing diabetes, hypertension and obesity. This is because people are getting those carbohydrates in much excess compared to their requirement. For example, eating commercialized sweets such as Gulabjamun, Mohanthal and Barfi from an early age will result in not liking homemade sweets which are generally less sweet. By getting these people addicted to excessive sweetness, people will continue to purcahse their foods and beverages, thus be prone to major illnesses.

To mitigate this problem it is advised that making sugary products not affordable a person may get motivation to stop the cycle. This development overlooks the fact that people can just make those kind of dishes at home. To permanently solve this problem, the government should conduct awareness campaigns, seminars and special event talking about the importance of physical workout and exercise in the current sedentary lifestyle. For example, the Government of Gujarat conducted about an seminar discussing about the dangerous after-effects of not utilizing consumed sugars. By teaching vital knowledge on diabetes, obesity and high cholesterol levels, people will get scared to continuosly consume sugars, and will adopt healthy lifestyle to burn those calories.

In conclusion, major organizations are involved in making their products as addicting as possible to attract more buyers, resulting in life-threatening illnesses. Governmental campaigns teaching about physical exercise will help people understand the after effects of this and will stop people to continually purchase the products.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you disagree with making sugary products more expensive and favour education and exercise instead. You also explain why high sugar consumption is harmful, using examples such as diabetes and obesity, and you address the proposed price increase by noting that people could make similar foods at home. These points respond to the task, but the argument is not fully developed in places. In particular, the claim that exercise and awareness campaigns are the solution does not explain how they would reduce sugar consumption or prevent health problems as effectively as pricing measures. The Gujarat seminar example is relevant, but its impact is asserted rather than demonstrated. Develop this comparison and support your main alternative with clearer reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The ideas generally move from the health effects of sugar to possible responses, and linking phrases such as “For example” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. However, progression within the second body paragraph is not always smooth: it moves from the affordability proposal to home cooking, then to exercise campaigns, without clearly showing how each point connects to the next. Some references are also unclear, particularly “the after effects of this,” whose meaning is not precise. Use topic sentences to establish each paragraph’s main claim and make links between the evidence and your position more explicit, rather than relying mainly on familiar signposting phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, including “sucrose,” “sedentary lifestyle,” “hypertension,” and “high cholesterol levels.” These choices show an effort to use more specific language, and the meaning is generally understandable. There are, however, several inaccurate or unnatural word choices and collocations, such as “exceeding amount of sugars,” “long term of consumer,” and “get discouraged to buy them.” Spelling slips such as “purcahse” and “continuosly” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural combinations and precise forms: for example, “excessive amounts of sugar,” “long-term consumers,” and “discouraged from buying them.” Proofreading for spelling and checking unfamiliar expressions in context would make your vocabulary more controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including relative clauses (“who are long term of consumer sugary drinks”) and cause-and-effect structures (“This is because…”). Most of the argument remains understandable, but some grammatical errors occur across the response. Examples include subject–verb agreement in “diet and exercise is,” an incomplete construction in “making those products expensive, people will get discouraged,” and article or preposition problems in “conducted about an seminar” and “stop people to continually purchase.” The sentence beginning “To mitigate this problem it is advised that…” is also difficult to control and would be clearer if divided or recast. Practise accurate clause construction, agreement, and verb patterns while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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