Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Today, many manufactured food and drink products contain a lot of sugar. The sugar level affects health of the human. So sugary products' price should be high so people encourage to use less sugar. This essay will explain how sugar in products causes health issue and why we will make the price of sugary products higher which discourage people to use sugar.

As we know, people consumed and also loved manufactured products. These products are also consumed by children a lot which shows how the consumption of sugar increases in all levels of age. Sugar is very harmful for everyone, especially for children. In this essay, we explore the side effects of sugar. Sugar has a great impact on health and it is the root cause of many diseases. Diabetes is most common health issue in all over the world. The ratio of diabetes patients increases a lot from last few years. It shows how much sugar consumptions elevates from last years.

To overcome this problem there is hypothesis that the price of sugary products increases so people avoid to use such an expensive products. But I think so this is not the useful step. We should make the people aware of side effects of sugar and how sugar has great impacts on children. The teeth problems, mental health issues and diabetes ratio increases mostly in children.To overcome this problem, the most efficient way is to increases the awareness by conducting seminars and conferences in schools and colleges.

In sum of all, I disagree with the perspective that prices of sugary products make the people to consume less sugar. The best way to face this problem is awareness.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear by the end: you disagree with making sugary products more expensive and prefer awareness campaigns. You also identify relevant health concerns, including diabetes and dental problems, and mention children as a group at risk. However, the response only partly develops the task: the opening says the essay will explain why prices should rise, which conflicts with your later disagreement, and the argument against higher prices is asserted rather than explained. For example, you do not show why price increases would fail to reduce consumption or how awareness would change behaviour. Develop and support your chosen position consistently, perhaps by comparing the likely effects of pricing and education.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the ideas generally move from health effects to possible solutions. Linking phrases such as “To overcome this problem” and “In sum of all” help signal stages of the argument. However, progression is sometimes weakened by repetition: the health effects and rising diabetes rates are mentioned without being clearly connected to the proposed solution. The introduction also promises to support higher prices, while the later paragraphs reject that policy, making the overall line of argument less coherent. Use topic sentences that match your position and make each paragraph develop one distinct reason. Clearer links between claims and explanations would make cohesion less mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “manufactured products,” “side effects,” “diabetes,” and “awareness.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations sound unnatural, sometimes making the intended meaning less precise. Examples include “the health of the human,” “the ratio of diabetes patients,” and “use such an expensive products.” Repeated use of “sugar,” “problem,” and “increase” also limits flexibility. Build a more precise set of phrases for discussing health and policy, such as “sugar consumption,” “the prevalence of diabetes,” and “raise public awareness.” Check that nouns and verbs combine naturally, and vary repeated vocabulary where the meaning allows.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including “Sugar has a great impact on health and it is the root cause of many diseases.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur often enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. For example, “So sugary products' price should be high so people encourage to use less sugar” has unclear clause structure, while “the most efficient way is to increases the awareness” has an incorrect verb form. There are also problems with articles, agreement and plurals, as in “such an expensive products” and “the teeth problems.” Practise building accurate complex sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and check agreement and article use when editing.

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