Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is true that nowadays many process food contain exessive amount of sugar ,which can lead various physical issues such as obisity. While some individuals believe that govenment should increase the cost of sugary products,I partialy agree with this statement.

There are a number of reasons why sugary products made more expensive.One of the prime reasons is lead a healtheir life.This is because when government increase cost of the sugary item, it may careate financial burden for those who regularly consumed this type of item. With this burden they cannot afford this type of junk food.For example, a person who often eat procces food and juices,if this item cost increase ,it can be painful for them because they have other type of expenditure.By rising cost, can prevent them to purches these food item. As a result, with this issue,they can consume less sugary products, it not only beneficial for health,but also reduce their daily expences.

However, rising price has sevral advantages, it has some drawbacks also which cannot be overlooked. One of the significant drawback is it can affect business field. When government take this initiatives,people may not buy those type of products which made by sugar.Without selling this products, local business may lose their customer which can make them brankcarft. For instance, a shop maker who saled mainly sugary item such as cake,juice and desert. When this items price increase this time customer cannot buy this product. Consequently, when they cannot sale their products ,it may create financial crisis for them.

In conclusion, although increasing cost for sugary item can lead some issues for local business , I consider that some massure can adress this issue. Therefore, makeing expensive sugary products has more adbantages outwigh the disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you partially agree that sugary products should cost more, and the conclusion ultimately supports price increases. You give relevant reasons on both sides, including reduced consumption and possible harm to small businesses, with examples of a regular consumer and a cake-and-juice seller. This addresses the task, but the argument is unevenly developed. The health benefit is asserted rather than explained in detail, and the business concern receives a concrete example but little discussion of how serious or widespread the effect might be. Also, the conclusion says measures could address the business issue without identifying any. To strengthen the response, explain the mechanism and likely impact of each point, and make your final position and any proposed safeguards more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph supporting higher prices, a paragraph presenting a drawback, and a conclusion. The contrast signalled by “However” helps readers follow the shift in argument, while “For example” and “Consequently” introduce supporting details. However, some links are mechanical or unclear, and several sentences run ideas together, such as “By rising cost, can prevent them to purches these food item.” The reference in “this issue” is also vague, and the conclusion’s “some massure” is not connected to a specific proposal. Use clearer sentence boundaries and refer explicitly to the idea being discussed; vary linking expressions and ensure each paragraph develops one main point in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “financial burden,” “physical issues,” “customer,” and “financial crisis,” and you attempt some less common expressions. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make parts of the response difficult to read. Examples include “process food,” “lead a healtheir life,” “brankcarft,” and “massure can adress.” Some phrases are also imprecise, such as “this type of item” and “business field.” Aim to use accurate topic-specific terms and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise expressions for health effects, consumer behaviour, and small businesses would help you communicate your ideas with less repetition and greater clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a concession in “While some individuals believe…” and a conditional example beginning “When government increase cost…”. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation sometimes make meaning harder to follow. For example, “many process food contain” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “a person who often eat” has a subject–verb agreement error. The fragment “By rising cost, can prevent them…” also has no clear subject. Practise building complete sentences with an explicit subject and verb, and check agreement and articles. Breaking long sentences into shorter, correctly punctuated units will improve accuracy while preserving your attempts at complex structures.

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