Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Noadays, individuals are so busy in their lives they don't have much time for taking care of their health. Several products from food industry contains higher level of sugar resultantly create numerous health diseases. Some population say that such kind of products should be expensive. Consequently, less sugar consumption will happen but I didn't assert with this view.

To initiate this discussion, one crucial reason is that finance sector of several food industrilization will be effected. Various organizations use sugar in their products. If they will get expensive than this will sink their customers. Therefore, government economy will also fall along with it. They should try to mention the sugar level and let the consumers to decide it use. For instance, there was a time when public of Pakistan started suffering from diabetes because they drink a lot of soft drinks. Goverment was not pushed ban on companies because they are doing business there

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a position—“I didn't assert with this view”—and give a reason against making sugary products more expensive, namely that higher prices could reduce customers and affect businesses and the economy. However, the position is expressed unclearly, and the discussion addresses the task only partially: it does not explain in detail why a price increase would fail to reduce sugar consumption or develop an alternative response. The Pakistan example mentions diabetes and soft drinks, but it does not clearly support your argument about prices. The response is also 96 words below the required minimum, leaving too little space to develop and support your ideas. To strengthen the response, state your view directly, explain the likely effects of price changes, and add a relevant, clearly connected example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation: an opening paragraph introduces the issue and your view, followed by a paragraph beginning “To initiate this discussion” that gives a reason and an example. Linking expressions such as “Consequently,” “Therefore,” and “For instance” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the relationship between higher prices, customers, and the government economy is not fully explained. The final example also ends abruptly, so the paragraph does not reach a clear conclusion. Some transitions feel mechanical rather than guiding the reader through a developed argument. Use a clear sequence—claim, explanation, example—and finish with a concluding paragraph that restates your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “health problems,” “consumption,” “customers,” and “diabetes,” which helps communicate the general subject. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “crucial reason.” However, the range is limited, and several inaccurate or unnatural choices make parts of the argument hard to understand. For example, “finance sector of several food industrilization” does not clearly express the intended idea, while “sink their customers” is an unsuitable collocation. Spelling errors such as “Noadays,” “industrilization,” and “Goverment” are also noticeable. Aim for precise, natural phrases and check spelling; for instance, describe the effect on “food manufacturers’ revenue” rather than using unclear wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a cause-and-effect structure in “Several products from food industry contains higher level of sugar resultantly create numerous health diseases.” However, errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction frequently make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “products … contains” has a subject–verb agreement problem, and “If they will get expensive than this will sink their customers” has an inaccurate conditional structure. The opening sentence also combines clauses without clear punctuation. Most sentences rely on basic patterns, and the more complex attempts are often faulty. Practise accurate conditional forms (“If prices rise, some customers may buy less”) and check agreement and sentence boundaries when editing.

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