Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Barron's Writing · 2026-07-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public places. Other people say that this is not enough and that other measures are needed.
Discuss both these views, and give your opinion.
Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Some people believe that by doing smoke activities illegal in public areas is the better solution, while others argue that this is not sufficient and other measures are needed. This essay will discuss both the merits and demerits in the upcoming paragraphs with my opinion.
On the one hand, by making it illegal in the shared spaces, will definitely discourage them. Most of the people smoke in the fresh air and if it is banned in such places, then it will indirectly impact the sales. For instance, most of the smoke shops are near the community places. However by making it illegal to smoke in the common areas will decrease the chance of sale. This way they are forced to smoke it at home or leave it when they are not at home.
On the other hand, this could not be enough to discourage them from smoking. Making it totally illegal everywhere could help them. For example, drugs are totally banned and as a result individuals will keep them away from drugs as much as possible. Furthermore, smoking is harmful for health. It should be promoted by the government by advertising. In addition to this, not only promotions, banners should be displayed in the public spaces. To exemplify this, smoking is injurious to health is written on the back side of the cigarette pack, It should be on big advertising boards.
In my opinion, by making it illegal only in public space will not discourage them, other measures should be taken to control. Either make it fully illegal at any place or reserve the places for them such as there homes will dishearten them to do smoking.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The student presents a clear attempt to discuss both views on smoking in public spaces and provides their opinion. However, the argument lacks depth with limited examples and explanations. For instance, mentioning that banning smoking in shared spaces will reduce sales is relevant, but it requires stronger elaboration. Additionally, the conclusion suggests alternative measures but lacks clarity. Overall, the response partially addresses the task but does not fully fulfill all requirements, leading to a Task Achievement score of 5.5.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
Coherence and cohesion in this response are somewhat weak. The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, which aids in understanding the arguments. However, transitional phrases such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" are used, but further linking words and clearer connections between ideas are needed. For example, the transition from discussing the ban to its effects on smoking rates could be smoother. As a result, coherence and cohesion receive a Band score of 5.5.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student's lexical resource is limited. There are some adequate vocabulary choices, such as "illegal" and "discourage," but phrases like "smoke activities" and "by doing smoke activities" are awkward and need improvement. Moreover, while some attempts at variety are present, the repeated use of simple phrases affects the overall impression. More sophisticated vocabulary and phrases would improve clarity and expressiveness. Thus, the lexical resource score is 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
Grammar and accuracy show some issues, including sentence structure and agreement errors. For instance, "by doing smoke activities illegal in public areas" is a grammatically incorrect phrase. Additionally, there are places with incorrect word forms, like "not only promotions, banners should be displayed," which lacks proper parallel structure. Overall, despite some correct structures, the frequency of grammatical errors detracts from clarity, leading to a score of 5.5 for grammatical range and accuracy.
Overall feedback
Your essay shows an understanding of the assignment and presents some relevant ideas, but there are significant areas for improvement. First, expand on your arguments with more detailed explanations and concrete examples to strengthen your points. Improve your organization by using more varied linking words and phrases to enhance coherence. Finally, work on your vocabulary; aim for more precise and sophisticated word choices instead of repetitive or awkward phrases. Paying attention to grammar, particularly sentence structures and agreements, will also add clarity to your writing.
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