Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Barron's Writing · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public places. Other people say that this is not enough and that other measures are needed.

Discuss both these views, and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Smoking has been one of the biggest issue which has been famous among all the age groups. The youth want to start this to show class and an urge to look an adult , adult do it in the peer pressure and old people do it to get rid of the sensation of being left out or being alone. But the issue of discouraging it in public places has its own pros and cons, so lets start with the advantages moving forward. Many parents wouldn't want their children to smoke or be in the group of friends where they smoke and hence would never want their kinds to even see someone smoking when they go out but seeing the other side, if the people won't smoke in public places, they will end up smoking inside their home effecting the family, where they can be kids, women bearing a baby or the older people having the health issues or pets. So the other measures that can be used to discourage people to not to smoke is, making it illegal to be sold, there should be one in a 20 stores selling the smokes that too with a very high price as the youth may find it difficult to buy them as most of them are financially dependent on their parents and the legal age of smoking should also be as high as 45plus. Being a retailer at a gas station, I have even came across a women who was pregnant and wanted to smoke because she was craving for it, ins spite of me asking her not to do this to herself and a baby, she became aggressive as at that time what was important to her was calming herself and her craving that her overall health. had she been in her late 40s or early 50s, there would have been very less chance for her to bear a baby and smoke simultaneously.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both views regarding public smoking bans and alternative measures. However, the development is uneven. While you provide a personal perspective, the structure is problematic as the entire essay is presented as a single paragraph, making it difficult to clearly distinguish between the two viewpoints and your own opinion. The argument regarding raising the legal age to 45 is an extreme suggestion that lacks logical grounding, which weakens the persuasiveness of your response. To improve, ensure each viewpoint is explored in a dedicated paragraph and provide more balanced, realistic arguments to support your position.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks paragraphing, which is a fundamental requirement for a formal essay. This makes the progression of ideas feel cluttered and difficult to follow. While you use some cohesive devices like 'but' and 'hence', the lack of clear transitions between the discussion of the two views and your own opinion hinders the overall flow. To reach a higher band, you must organize your response into clear paragraphs: an introduction, two body paragraphs (one for each view), and a conclusion. This will help the reader navigate your arguments more effectively.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary to communicate your ideas, such as 'financially dependent' and 'simultaneously'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'effecting the family' (should be 'affecting') and 'one in a 20 stores' (should be 'one in twenty'). Some expressions are informal or imprecise, such as 'show class' and 'smokes'. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure you are using words in their correct grammatical context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'I have even came across a women' (should be 'I have even come across a woman') and 'in spite of me asking her not to do this to herself and a baby' (should be 'and her baby'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic subject-verb agreement and pluralization prevents a higher score.

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