Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Barron's Writing · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public places. Other people say that this is not enough and that other measures are needed.

Discuss both these views, and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Few individuals are of the opinion that that the finest way to discourage smoking is to prohibit smoking in public areas. this will be discussed in both perspectives. I strongly believe that putting measures and making it illegal would be the best.

To start with, it is good to let smokers know the implication and how dangerous of what they are consuming.. That would to make it illegal in public places. The anti drug personnel should join hands with the government to pass the bill of making smoking an illegal act in public places .For instance, some people do not like perceiving the smell of cigarette, but in public areas you see smokers smoking where people that do not like it are and that keeps them uncomfortable.

Again, it is very dangerous to the health of some staying around where they are smoking it. As a result of this, it should not be smoke in public places.

From my own view, smoking should be sanctioned in open places and also put measures that can hele to ensure that individuals who are caught smoking in public places must be treated according to law. For example, the person caught should be jailed for six months or alternatively with the fine of two hundred thousand naira. because, this has made many young people ran mad or develop a chronic ill health that has made away with their lives after spending huge amount of money to treat them.

In conclusion, smoking should be prohibited and also put strong measures that could help eradicate the issue of making young people go mad or develop early chronic diseases that cannot be cured. These are few reasons why it should be made illegal.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument, but the development is uneven. While you mention that some people believe other measures are needed, you do not explore what those measures might be, focusing instead almost entirely on your own view that smoking should be illegal. The ideas are somewhat repetitive, and the link between smoking in public and 'running mad' or 'chronic ill health' is not clearly explained or supported with logical reasoning. To improve, ensure you dedicate a full paragraph to the 'other measures' perspective, such as education campaigns or higher taxes, to provide a more balanced discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. Transitions are often mechanical or misused, such as 'Again' to start a paragraph or 'because' starting a sentence fragment. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between ideas feels disjointed. For example, the transition from the health risks of second-hand smoke to the suggestion of jail time is abrupt. Using a wider variety of cohesive devices like 'consequently', 'furthermore', or 'in contrast' would help connect your arguments more fluidly and improve the overall structure of your response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and sometimes inaccurate, which occasionally impedes clarity. Phrases like 'perceiving the smell' and 'made away with their lives' are unnatural in this context. There is also repetition of basic terms like 'illegal' and 'public places'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise collocations and a broader range of academic vocabulary. For instance, instead of 'make it illegal', you could use 'implement a total ban' or 'criminalize'. Focus on learning word families and how they fit into formal essay structures.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that affect readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('it should not be smoke'), sentence fragments ('because, this has made...'), and awkward phrasing ('dangerous of what they are consuming'). While you attempt some complex structures, they are often faulty, leading to confusion. You should focus on mastering basic sentence construction before attempting more complex ones. Pay close attention to verb forms and punctuation, as these errors are persistent and distract the reader from your main points.

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