Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Barron's Writing · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public places. Other people say that this is not enough and that other measures are needed.

Discuss both these views, and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

As a coin has two sides, there will always be differences in people's opinions. The first way is also correct to a certain extent, that smoking should be made illegal in public places. If it is done, then at least we will be able to maintain a healthy environment, and people's health can be protected. As we all know, in public places, if a person is smoking, the same air will be inhaled by other people present in that place, and it can lead to various health conditions. For example, a person knows that it is a public place and smoking is not allowed, so he may not smoke at that place, but after going to some other place, they will start smoking again.

I also think that sometimes this will not be enough to just make smoking illegal in public places, as the person who has the habit of smoking will smoke irrespective of laws or rules. They don't care what they want is to smoke. I believe awareness should be raised among people about why smoking should be prohibited, what serious health conditions one can suffer from smoking, etc. If a person knows the negative impacts of smoking, he/she can try to stop smoking. For example, a person has the habit of smoking, but now that he knows the negative impacts of smoking, he will try to avoid smoking or find an alternate way that his mind says don't smoke.

My uncle was having the habit of smoking we tried to explain him a lot and also told him to stop smoking but he always told us he loves smoking and he cannot stay without smoking, slowly we tried to explain him and played a drama to explain him where the kids were suffering as they lost their dad due to his smoking habit then he understood smoking is highly dangerous to health and he stopped smoking from that time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both views and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The first paragraph discusses the benefits of banning smoking in public, but the argument is slightly repetitive. The second paragraph introduces the need for awareness, which is a relevant point, but the explanation remains a bit simplistic. The personal anecdote about the uncle is a good attempt to support the argument, but it occupies a significant portion of the essay and could have been more effectively integrated into a broader discussion of public health strategies. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with more sophisticated reasoning rather than relying on personal narrative.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and limited. Phrases like 'The first way is also correct' and 'I also think that' are used to transition between ideas, but the flow between sentences could be smoother. Some sentences feel disjointed, particularly in the final paragraph where the narrative of the uncle is presented in a long, run-on structure. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. The student uses basic terms such as 'healthy environment', 'serious health conditions', and 'negative impacts'. While these are accurate, they are quite common. There are some awkward phrasings, such as 'he cannot stay without smoking' and 'played a drama to explain him'. To improve, the student should aim to incorporate more topic-specific collocations and less common vocabulary, such as 'public health initiatives', 'addictive nature', or 'preventative measures', to demonstrate a more sophisticated command of the language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the fluency of the text. For instance, 'My uncle was having the habit of smoking' should be 'My uncle had a habit of smoking', and 'find an alternate way that his mind says don't smoke' is grammatically awkward and unclear. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several run-on sentences, particularly in the final paragraph. To improve, the student should focus on subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and breaking up long, convoluted sentences into clearer, grammatically sound structures.

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