Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Barron's Writing · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public places. Other people say that this is not enough and that other measures are needed.

Discuss both these views, and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Many people think the best way to stop those smokers from smoking is to set rules and regulation. In my point of view, the best way to stop smokers from smoking are educate them about healthy lifestyle. Also, a good reward system which could create the self-discriple and also the reward system to make them encouraging.

To create the awareness of health care, government should create a tracking system by rewarding those smokers from reducing their cigratte consumption. Smokers could stop smoking at public areas. But they could increase their cigratte consumption after getting home. Rules and regulations are not the way to stop smokers from smoking. Whereby, they will encourage themselves to reduce smoking if there is a reward.

Admittedly, a lifestyle without smoking can lead to heathier society and hence reduce the burder of world. To achieve this, people should be encouraged to self monitoring their action. My father used to be a strong smoker 10 years ago. There was one time he cough unstoppable for few months. Doctor advised if he would want to live a better future like travelling anywhere he want, he must stop smoking gradually. Surprisingly he managed to stop smoking just in 3 months. Due to he was able to see the reward of stop smoking, he was able to stop smoking just in 3 months.

Furthermore, with the purpose of go green,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you attempt to discuss both views, the arguments are underdeveloped and repetitive. The essay ends abruptly with an incomplete sentence, meaning the conclusion is missing. You mention the importance of education and rewards, but the explanation lacks depth and specific examples of how these measures would function in a real-world context. To improve, ensure you fully explore both sides of the prompt and provide a clear, structured conclusion. The failure to complete the task and the lack of word count are the primary reasons for this score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is often disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inaccurate, such as the misuse of 'Whereby' at the start of a sentence. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the transition between the discussion of rules and the personal anecdote about your father is abrupt. The lack of a concluding paragraph further disrupts the overall coherence of the response. To improve, focus on using transition signals more naturally and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that links back to the main argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic phrasing. There are several spelling errors, such as 'self-discriple', 'cigratte', and 'burder', which distract the reader. You attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'consumption' and 'awareness', but the overall range is insufficient to express complex ideas with precision. The phrasing is often unnatural, such as 'stop those smokers from smoking'. To improve, focus on learning collocations related to public policy and health, and proofread your work to correct basic spelling mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('the best way... are educate'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are simple or contain fragments, such as the final incomplete sentence. The use of complex structures is attempted but often results in errors, such as 'Due to he was able to see...'. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and work on the correct use of prepositions and conjunctions.

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