Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Barron's Writing · 2026-09-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public places. Other people say that this is not enough and that other measures are needed.
Discuss both these views, and give your opinion.
Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
There is no doubt that the best way to discourage people who smoke outside.It’s not good for health and environment.If smoking is to make illegal in public places,People will maintain this rule.In the other hand some people say that is not enough to discourage people and government should need more restrictions to having smoking in public places.In this essay,I will look at both sides of the argument and give you my opinion.
Smoking is a bad habit.If smoking is not illegal at public place,Everyone should having cigarettes in public.It’s hampered around young people,pregnant women,child’s and old age people.They are not tolerate smoking smoke.It’s hampered their health.Sometimes smoking in publicly encouraged youngster to do it.Smoking also causes health issues and environmental problems.Sometimes smoking illegal in public places is not discourage people.They don’t follow this rules and regulations.
Turning to the other side of the argument only smoking illegal in public places is not enough to avoid this things because many people publicly having cigarettes.Firstly,Government should need some other restrictions to smoke in public places.Secondly,They can also get some fine from police who are publicly smoking.They need to give those penalties on time.If someone smoke in public,Anyone can complain police about it.Furthermore,Government need to strict about this rules and regulations,Then eventually smoking in public places will stop.Its best for every citizen.
All things considered,Smoking in public places is a dangerous crime because it’s already illegal from government.Sometimes people don’t follow laws.Personally I believed that,Only smoking in illegal in public places isn’t enough lesson.Government should strict about other punishments and measures needed.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is limited. For example, the suggestion to 'get some fine from police' is a relevant point, but it lacks depth or explanation regarding how this would be implemented or why it would be more effective than bans alone. The essay tends to over-generalize, and some arguments are repetitive, such as the repeated mention of smoking being a 'bad habit' or 'illegal'. To reach a higher band, you need to extend your ideas with more specific examples or logical reasoning rather than simply stating them.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For instance, 'In the other hand' is used incorrectly, and transitions like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' are used in a way that feels forced. There are also issues with referencing; the pronoun 'it' is frequently used without a clear antecedent, making some sentences difficult to follow. The progression of ideas is present but lacks the smooth flow required for a higher band score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic words like 'bad', 'stop', and 'people'. There are also noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'hampered around young people' (instead of 'harms young people') and 'get some fine' (instead of 'issue fines'). While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of variety and the frequent misuse of terms prevent the essay from demonstrating the flexibility required for a higher score. You should focus on learning topic-specific collocations related to public health and law enforcement.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. When you attempt complex sentences, they often contain significant grammatical errors, such as 'If smoking is to make illegal' (should be 'If smoking is made illegal') and 'Everyone should having cigarettes' (should be 'Everyone would be having cigarettes'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods and incorrect comma usage. These frequent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction cause difficulty for the reader and indicate a lack of control over complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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