Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Barron's Writing · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public places. Other people say that this is not enough and that other measures are needed.
Discuss both these views, and give your opinion.
Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In the modern era, every body has problem with their surroundings. however, many people that authority should banned smoking so people do not smoke in the public areas. while other say that beside banned smoking , many others things which need to improve. so now i would discuss both sides and give my opinion.
In order to quit the smoke, authority should banned it, because in this modern world every body do smoke and they are addicted for this that is not good things for every body. so government take some strict action regarding this so people cant able to do this. For example, smoking companies has many strategies in order to increase sales, so they can do advertisement, also they can pick one start which is popular, star doing this for money as renowned star has many fan following , if they do these type of advertisement so their fan influence by them especially youngsters. due to this, The Government need to take strict actions for this and to make it illegal for public places.
On the other hand, besides smoking, many things which need to improve in our country. For example, unemployment rate is increasing day by day in our nations, so they can make warehouses and factory where person who are unemployed to do their job and fulfill their needs. Although, Global warming and pollution is booming nowadays which is very critical factor, so, to decrease this, the authority should planted more and more tree in parks and even in front of houses because trees gives us oxygen and sucks carbo dioxide.
to conclude it, every body has their own complaining so if smoking is illegal so every people should need to quit this and even youngsters not influenced for it. so my opinion is need to improve others things like focus on decline the unemployment rate and grow threes in cites for balancing oxygen in our atmosphere.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both views and provides an opinion, but the development of ideas is inconsistent. While the first body paragraph attempts to discuss the impact of smoking, the second paragraph shifts focus to unrelated issues like unemployment and global warming, which are not relevant to the prompt's core question about discouraging smoking. The argument regarding smoking is somewhat repetitive, and the link between celebrity endorsements and public smoking bans is not fully explored. To improve, ensure that all supporting points directly relate to the specific prompt provided rather than introducing extraneous social issues.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The transition between the discussion of smoking and the introduction of unemployment is abrupt and lacks a cohesive link. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In order to' and 'On the other hand', but they are often applied mechanically or incorrectly (e.g., 'to conclude it'). Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the overall flow is hindered by the lack of a clear thematic connection between the paragraphs. Improved use of linking words and better paragraph structure would enhance the clarity of the argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are frequent errors in word formation and collocation, such as 'every body has problem', 'authority should banned', and 'grow threes'. The student relies on basic vocabulary and struggles to use more sophisticated or precise language to express complex ideas. Many phrases are awkward, such as 'sucks carbo dioxide' or 'pick one start'. To achieve a higher band, the student needs to focus on accurate word forms, correct collocations, and expanding their range of topic-specific vocabulary related to public policy and health.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement ('every body do smoke'), tense usage ('authority should banned'), and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, and there is a lack of control over complex structures. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas and incorrect capitalization. While the meaning is generally discernible, the high frequency of errors across basic and complex structures prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be beneficial.
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