Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Barron's Writing · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public places. Other people say that this is not enough and that other measures are needed.

Discuss both these views, and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

According to given information , in my country some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public places. It is right some people in my country are smokers It is wise said that smokers invite cancer. In public places people smoking and spread fog to others. Smoking cause many diseases such as , lung cancer ,breathing problem,and blood pressure. The inhilation of smoking from an other smoker is called passive smoking . It spread from smokers to other persons. This smoking much more damage than other persons. In my country people smoking on public places like bus stand and many others stands. Government should spread awareness on public places ,social media, news channels. It is the best way to control smoking. Most of young people smoking in my country take many types of drugs. These young people spreads smoking in society and children can easily ragged. Other people say that this is not enough and other measures are needed. It is also fair said others measures are needed. In my country some people spread with bad adept like playing videos games, and spend much more time with bad friends. Most of young people watch pornography on their mobile phones. Government should spread awarness about these activties and banned social media for young adult people. In my opinion smoking make illegal on public places because smoking spread negative effect on society. If government banned smoking for young people then smoking fifty% reduce in my country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response touches upon the prompt by discussing whether banning smoking in public places is sufficient or if other measures are needed, thereby addressing the main requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas is limited and at times disjointed. The writer attempts to express a position and includes reasons regarding health risks such as lung cancer and passive smoking, but the arguments wander into tangential topics such as young people playing video games, watching pornography, and spending time with bad friends. These digressions detract from a focused discussion of the prompt. While a clear personal opinion is stated at the end, the overall development leans towards over-generalisation and lack of clear focus, corresponding to the Band 5 level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay lacks clear paragraphing, as it is presented almost entirely as a single block of text or poorly divided units, which hampers the logical progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are minimal, repetitive, or inaccurate, with phrases like 'According to given information' and 'It is right' appearing mechanically. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of arguments—for instance, jumping abruptly from public smoking to young people taking drugs and watching pornography without adequate transitional links. The overall arrangement shows basic organization, but the lack of an effective logical sequence and cohesive control places this response at Band 4.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently relying on simple terms like 'people', 'smoking', 'country', and 'bad'. There are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'spread fog to others', 'breathing problem' (instead of plural problems), 'ragged' (likely misused for affected or influenced), and 'make illegal' (instead of be made illegal). Less common lexical items are attempted but generally used inaccurately or inappropriately, such as 'bad adept' or 'active smoking' implied contrasts. These errors sometimes cause difficulty for the reader and reflect a limited, basic lexical resource typical of Band 4.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The writer demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying primarily on simple sentences with frequent structural errors. Examples of errors include missing auxiliary verbs, incorrect prepositions, and faulty subject-verb agreement, such as 'Smoking cause many diseases', 'people smoking on public places', and 'smoking fifty% reduce in my country'. Complex structures are attempted but are almost always faulty, leading to frequent grammatical errors that can distort meaning and strain the reader. Punctuation is also problematic throughout the response. This level of control aligns with Band 4.0.

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