Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Barron's Writing · 2026-09-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public places. Other people say that this is not enough and that other measures are needed.

Discuss both these views, and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Some would argue that the best method to deter smoking is to make cigarretes smoking offense in public areas. While others significance posses on more methods need to take to stop smoking in public surroudings. while, more steps are required to tackle this illegal smoking habits, only discouragement is not enough to stop this. I believe that it is better to start with discourage people from smoking habits by providing rehabiliation treatments.

on the one hand, smoking in particularly need more efforts make this illegal offense in the society. This is to say that by motivating more people to attend campaigns will dicuss about the bad effects of smoking pills. It will discuss about adverse lungs issues. People will take this seriously and think about to quit smoking. To cite an example, In India,

in different cities of maharashtra people

people are getting proper knowledge about the bad consequences of smoking by campaigns and classes.

on the other hand, it is thought that discouragement is the main option to stop people for smoking is public amentities and affecting the other people health. It is a fact that by charging them fines for smoking at the outside place will stop them to do this inlawful offense. For eample, In korea,

humans are not allowed to do smoking outside in public places because there is a rule pass by the minister to send them in a jail if they find anyone smoke outside the restricted area.

In conclusion, although, more legal steps are needed to take by the goverenment to stop this drug activity. I believe that start from the minor step to discourage is one of the preferable option to abandon people to do smoking outside.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views—making smoking illegal versus needing additional measures—and provides a clear, albeit basic, personal opinion. The student attempts to develop ideas regarding rehabilitation and fines, mentioning examples such as India and Korea. However, the explanation of ideas is somewhat repetitive and hindered by expression issues. For instance, stating "start with discourage people from smoking habits by providing rehabiliation treatments" shows a clear effort to tackle the prompt, but the arguments remain underdeveloped due to frequent lapses in clarity. Overall, the task is addressed, and the position is maintained throughout, fitting the Band 5 descriptors well.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has an identifiable overall structure, featuring an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by awkward transitions and confusing sentence boundaries. For example, paragraphs begin abruptly with phrases like "on the one hand, smoking in particularly need more efforts make this illegal offense" and "on the other hand, it is thought that discouragement is the main option...". Cohesive devices are either misused or applied mechanically, and referencing is often unclear, such as the pronoun shifts and disjointed phrasing. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion is weak, aligning closely with Band 4 descriptors.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The lexical resource is limited and heavily impacted by word-choice and collocation errors. The student attempts less common vocabulary, such as "rehabiliation treatments" (spelled incorrectly as 'rehabiliation'), "inlawful offense", and "public amentities", but these attempts result in frequent inaccuracies that occasionally strain the reader's understanding. Basic vocabulary is used repetitively, with constant recurrence of words like "smoking", "public", and "stop". Spelling errors are noticeable throughout the text (e.g., "cigarretes", "surroudings", "goverenment"). This matches the Band 4 profile where basic vocabulary and frequent errors affect communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The student uses a limited range of sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences are almost uniformly faulty and ungrammatical. For instance, sentences like "While others significance posses on more methods need to take to stop smoking in public surroudings" and "there is a rule pass by the minister to send them in a jail if they find anyone smoke outside" contain severe structural and agreement errors. Grammatical errors are very frequent throughout the response, involving verb forms, prepositions, articles, and word classes, causing significant difficulty for the reader and restricting the score to Band 4.

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