Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Barron's Writing · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public places. Other people say that this is not enough and that other measures are needed.

Discuss both these views, and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this modern world, despite the widespread consequences of health issue because of smoking, people are still encourage to do it almost everywhere. While a group of individual believe that consumption of tobacco products can be reduced by placing fines in public, others perceive that there are other ways to overcome this problem. This essay shall discuss both views and in my opinion it can be controlled through stricker goverment policies and public awarness.

To start with, smoking is not directly connected with any place, rather it is more of a person's mindset and its ability to cope up with situation.Therefore, inffines on smoking in public areas might stop person to smoke it in public, but when they are within there own premiese nobody stops them to use it. The reason behind it is that they believe it helps them to cope up with the stress and axiety. For example, most of the companies have their own smoking zones used by employees.

On the other hand, there are alternative ways with which smoking can be controlled. First of all, goverment should inforce higher taxes on the tabbaco products. With the increased value people feel discourage to use such products in the nearby future. In addition to that, awareness regarding helath related issue caused by such products should be spread among the people through campaigns. As a result, people will try to shift towards healthier products.

In my opinion, the combination of stricker goverment policies and spreading awarness among the people, regarding heath issue associated with smoking, it can be prevented to use it in public areas.

To conclude with, placing fines might help to stop smoking in public ares, but in order to remove it from the roots broader measure like public awarness and high taxes should be incorporated.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You have addressed all parts of the task by discussing both views—making public smoking illegal versus implementing other measures—and provided a clear personal opinion. Your main position is visible throughout the essay. However, some ideas are under-developed rather than fully explored. For instance, when you mention that smoking is connected to a person's mindset and ability to cope with situations, this interesting point is left without deeper explanation. Similarly, your alternative measures like higher taxes and public awareness campaigns are mentioned briefly without detailing how they practically discourage smokers over the long term. To reach a higher level, you need to extend and support all your main arguments with more thorough explanations and fully realized examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

Your essay demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from introduction to body paragraphs and conclusion, which fully satisfies the requirements of the lower band. You have used paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately, separating the opposing views and your own opinion into distinct sections. However, referencing is not always clear, and cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as starting paragraphs with 'To start with' or using repetitive transitional phrases. Furthermore, pronouns like 'it' in 'prevented to use it in public areas' lack a clear, unambiguous referent. To achieve a higher band, you should employ a wider and more flexible range of cohesive devices and ensure that referencing between sentences is entirely seamless and precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You have used an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'consumption', 'alternative ways', and 'campaigns'. However, there are noticeable spelling, word-choice, and word-form errors throughout your response that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'health issue' instead of 'health issues', 'stricker' instead of 'stricter', 'goverment' instead of 'government', 'awarness' instead of 'awareness', 'inffines' instead of 'fines', 'premiese' instead of 'premises', 'axietyl' instead of 'anxiety', 'inforce' instead of 'enforce', and 'tabbaco' instead of 'tobacco'. Because these errors occur frequently and include basic spelling mistakes, your lexical score is restricted. To improve, you need to expand your control of word forms and commit standard vocabulary spellings to memory while aiming for more precise collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You have attempted a mix of simple and complex sentence forms throughout your essay, demonstrating an ability to construct multi-clause sentences such as 'While a group of individual believe that consumption of tobacco products can be reduced by placing fines in public, others perceive that there are other ways to overcome this problem.' However, there are several errors in grammar and punctuation that persist. Subject-verb agreement issues are present, such as 'a group of individual believe' instead of 'individuals believe'. There are also prepositional errors inside grammatical patterns, such as 'cope up with situation' instead of 'cope with situations', and article errors such as 'in health issue' instead of 'health issues'. While these errors rarely impede overall communication, they prevent you from achieving a higher band descriptor where the majority of complex sentences must be error-free.

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