Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Barron's Writing · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public places. Other people say that this is not enough and that other measures are needed.

Discuss both these views, and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Smoking has been a very long part of human history. . Smoking as a practice has gone through a whole lot of remodelling or dare I say modernization.From ancient civiliaztions who used to smoke herbs which had hallucinogenic effects, to the invention of nicotine cigarettes, down to the use of electronic vapes. I don't think there is any research done on how smoking came to be in the first place. What, however, has been heavily researched on it's the effect of smoking on our general health.

Nicotine containing cigarettes are the most popularly smoked, followed by the high rising marijuana. There has been more than enough evidenced based research that shows the deleterious effect of smoking. The health impacts of smoking include and are not limited to lung cancer, chronic obstructive lung disease and many other health issues. It's effects are so adverse that rules and laws have been made forcing cigerertte producing companies to boldy state on cigartte packets that"smokers are liable to die young".

This bold move made by governing officials is still not enough to reduce the rate of smoking. Some arguement can be made for the high prevalence of smoking in some regions, with some attributing it to the very cold weather of some countries. As an extra measure to reduce smoking and all harmful effects that come with it, many argue that the best way to ddiscourage smoking is to make it illegal to smoke in public. This in a theortical sense is good, in that when people are forced not to smoke outside, it makes it less appealing and visible to non smokers, helping them to not get influenced and also reducing the incidence of 'secon hand' smoking which is when the cigarette puffs get inhaled by non smokers nearby.

While this approach may seem good, there are flaws associated with this. Firstly, the application of this will require some certain lebel of force from the police or law enforcement, which will be met with stiff resistance fromsome smokers as they will feel bullied and trampled upon. Another reason is that stopping smoking in public places may now trnslate to increased smoking indoors which cannot be subjected to regulation.

Therefore, more stricter rules should be set in place to curb smoking to a very minimal level. For example, in certain African countries where there are tigter rules regarding smoking as a whole, there is reduced incidence of smoking as when compared to some European countries that have very light rules with snoking.

A reduction in smoking not only has health benefits, but it also impacts the environment in a very good way with less cigarette wastes. There is also a trend in countries with mild smoking regulations, which is increase in societal deliquencies, as smokers are more suceptible to commit crimes. Alson in these same countires, the reported use of hard durgs is aslo on the high side, as smoking is usually the enntry level to patronizing hard drugs.

Hence, stopping smoking in public places is not enough, tighter rules should be set to reduce smoking to the barest minimum inorder to have a peaceful, clean and safe environment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and give a clear final position: public smoking restrictions may help, but stronger measures are needed. The explanation that bans can reduce exposure to second-hand smoke and make smoking less visible is relevant, as is your concern that restrictions could shift smoking indoors. However, the discussion is uneven: the case for making smoking illegal in public is explained more fully than what additional measures should involve. “Tighter rules” remains general, and the comparison between African and European countries is asserted without a specific example or supporting detail. The claims linking smoking with crime and hard-drug use also need careful evidence or qualification. Develop practical measures and support each main point more precisely to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from background and health effects to the two views and then a conclusion. Paragraph breaks generally help distinguish these stages, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Another reason,” and “Therefore” make relationships visible. However, the progression is not consistently focused: the opening history of smoking and the later claims about crime and hard drugs distract from the central comparison. Some links are mechanical, and references such as “This bold move” and “this approach” do not always identify the point precisely. Group the discussion around the two positions, use clearer links between claims and evidence, and keep each paragraph centred on one main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a broad range of vocabulary, including “deleterious effect,” “prevalence,” “regulation,” and “second-hand smoking,” which helps communicate the topic. However, inaccurate spelling and word choice are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: examples include “civiliaztions,” “cigerertte,” “deliquencies,” and “enntry.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “high rising marijuana,” “a very long part of human history,” and “the barest minimum.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than using elaborate wording where a simpler phrase is clearer. Proofreading spelling and choosing precise terms for policy measures and health effects would make your vocabulary more reliable.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional explanation beginning “when people are forced not to smoke outside” and a contrast introduced by “While this approach may seem good.” Most of the argument remains understandable, but some grammatical and punctuation errors recur. The opening has an extra full stop and a sentence fragment beginning “From ancient civiliaztions”; “What, however, has been heavily researched on it’s the effect” is also structurally faulty. Other examples include “the application of this will require some certain level” and “there is reduced incidence,” where article use and sentence construction need attention. Check sentence boundaries, possessive forms, and article use, and revise long sentences so their clauses are clearly connected.

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