Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Barron's Writing · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public places. Other people say that this is not enough and that other measures are needed.

Discuss both these views, and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In this modern era, people are smoking openly, considering smoking a passion or a hobbie.Smoking causes health hazard, we should make public awareness platforms and advertisments.Also it is our duty to make a rehabilitation centers for smoker's.Some people say that the best way to discorage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public

Smoking causes health hazards including mouth cancer,lung cancer and many more.Some people smoke, make it a hobby leaving a no way back.Few people smoke to releif the stress cause by daily bustling routine.Reducing their duration of life.Such people get so addicted to smoking they loose hope,aggitated all the time,no goal for future.

Money they spend on buying a box of cigarate is increasing the growth of economy but in other way around sending people toward death.

We should make public aware about the deadly effect of smoking.People should make platforms online to tell public about health hazard cause by smoking.We should make a litlle effort starting from our homes to stop your family member from smoking.Telling them about adverse aspects of it.We should create rehabilitation center for treament of addicted persons.They can have physical and mental support as well as.It family responsibility to make them feel sense of belonging and show some respect.People can save money an

We should make smoking illegal all over the country.It our goverment duty to create platforms and advertisment to completely make public aware about harmful effects of smoking.Industries involved in making cigarrate should be shutdown completely.It is better to see our economy fall, in order to prevent health hazard in our country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address the topic by discussing public awareness, rehabilitation, and making smoking illegal, and your final paragraph makes your support for a ban clear. However, the task asks you to discuss both views, and the case for making smoking illegal specifically in public places is not explained in enough detail; the response instead moves to banning it across the whole country and shutting down cigarette industries. Your other measures are more prominent, but they are listed rather than supported with developed examples. The response also falls four words short of the 250-word minimum, with 246 words counted; the 16 words copied from the prompt are excluded. Develop each side directly and add a relevant example or explanation for each proposal.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is some paragraphing, and the response moves from the harms of smoking to possible interventions and then to a ban. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the opening paragraph ends abruptly, the third paragraph is cut off at “People can save money an,” and the final paragraph begins without a clear link to the preceding discussion. Connections between ideas are also often unclear: for example, the point about money supporting the economy is followed by a contrast with little explanation. Use complete paragraphs with one clear purpose each, and connect claims to their consequences using clear transitions and references. This would make the overall argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “health hazards,” “rehabilitation centers,” “addicted,” and “adverse aspects,” which helps communicate the subject. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make the writing less clear, such as “hobbie,” “discorage,” “advertisments,” “cigarate,” and “treament.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, including “make public aware” and “a passion” for smoking. Aim to use accurate forms and more natural collocations, such as “raise public awareness” and “smoking addiction.” Proofreading spelling and choosing precise expressions would make your ideas easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer structures, for example, “Some people smoke to releif the stress cause by daily bustling routine,” but most sentences rely on simple patterns, and errors are frequent. Missing or incorrect articles and verb forms appear in “Smoking causes health hazards,” “It our goverment duty,” and “It family responsibility”; the latter two need a subject and possessive structure. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in the opening, where several ideas run together, and “Reducing their duration of life” is a fragment. Practise building complete sentences with accurate subjects and verbs, and use full stops to separate ideas. This will improve clarity as well as grammatical control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.