Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Barron's Writing · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child's education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time.

Discuss both these views, and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In this modern are physical and education that both the main part of children growing. Some people told that sports learn lecher are an important part of a child's study, while other are believe that it is more important to focus on learning during school time. In my perception, the benefits surpass drawbacks. my stance is justified in the ensuing paragraphs with valid reasons and appropriate example.

the first and for most reasons is heath issue in child. To elaborate, In the schools time activity they face some ingeary like hand creak so some pereants should be care about that, like in classes they have prasanol

teachers they teach proper physical skills as well as in schools are not main focus on education not fitness. For example, indian school many focus on education because they think that if education is more better ten fitness. Hance, pereants should spend more time with child with some physical activity .

However, learning in school in more important for child because its give play and fun with natural to make fit and education better in their life.also they got good greads in exams. For example,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 191 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you attempt to address both sides of the argument, the discussion is underdeveloped and lacks depth. The conclusion is incomplete, and the arguments provided, such as the mention of 'indian school', are not clearly linked to the prompt. To improve, you must ensure that each paragraph fully explores a point with clear supporting evidence and that you provide a complete, well-reasoned conclusion that restates your position.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a logical flow. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the transitions between ideas are often abrupt or confusing, such as the shift from health issues to the role of teachers. Cohesive devices are used mechanically or incorrectly, for example, the misuse of 'Hance' (Hence) and 'In the schools time activity'. The lack of a clear structure makes it difficult for the reader to follow your argument. You should focus on using linking words like 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in contrast' to connect your sentences and paragraphs more effectively.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is limited and contains frequent errors that occasionally impede communication. There are many spelling mistakes, such as 'are' instead of 'era', 'heath' instead of 'health', 'ingeary' instead of 'injury', and 'pereants' instead of 'parents'. The word choices are often imprecise, such as 'hand creak' for 'bone fracture' or 'prasanol' for 'personal'. To improve, you need to expand your vocabulary range and focus on accurate spelling and word formation. Using a wider variety of topic-specific terms would also help convey your ideas more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that make the text difficult to read. There are significant issues with sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and article usage (e.g., 'In the schools time activity they face...'). Many sentences are fragmented or lack proper punctuation. The range of structures is very limited, relying mostly on simple sentences with errors. To improve, you should practice basic sentence construction, focus on correct verb tenses, and ensure that your sentences are complete thoughts. Proofreading for common errors like pluralization and word order will also be beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.