Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Barron's Writing · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child's education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time.
Discuss both these views, and give your opinion.
Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Physcial education is more important for children.In school every part is important for children like study,games,entertainment and one of the part is physcial education.In these part of physcial education you can learn,how to fit your body and More activity also.Now a days in every city or village Physcial education learn in every school.In my time when i was going to school and i will learn about physcial education, The main thing i learn how to fit your body and learn more activities about physcial education.I was compare old time and Now time about physcial Education lots of difference and today time i see lots of students went to eat drugs,no studies and no one a part of physcial education.Drug students are damage our body to eat drugs,injections put and its waste of time and not good for health.the most important part is physcially fit how to fit first,remove drugs in our life and eat healthy food and fruits. Daily exercise and do physcial yoga and more about to learn, how to fit your body time to time. now in new generation lots of new gadgets for learn and do physcial education for students.In future you can provide a good job regarding physcial education in school,Collageand university.Health is wealth is good slogan for every one.Students can more to more activites regarding physcial education,Students know what is physcial and what is more good effets for students life.I am also learn more activities regarding physcial education.So at the last i told to everyone learn more about physcail education and do more activities for students life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response attempts to address the topic of physical education versus academic focus, but it struggles significantly to fully explore both views in a structured manner. While the student expresses a clear personal preference that physical education is very important, the prompt specifically asks to discuss both views (the importance of PE versus the importance of a primary focus on academics) and give an opinion. The discussion of academics is largely omitted, and instead, the text diverges into a lengthy and tangential discussion about drug abuse among students, which weakens the overall focus of the task. Ideas are repetitive and limited in development, with assertions such as 'Health is wealth' stated without sufficient elaboration or integration into a balanced argument. Consequently, this performance aligns closely with Band 4.5 to 5.0, fitting into the lower range of task response.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
Coherence and cohesion are major weaknesses in this response. The text is written as a single, uninterrupted block of text without any paragraph breaks, making it visually and logically difficult to follow. Logical progression is frequently interrupted by abrupt shifts in topic, such as jumping from physical education to drug abuse and then back to gadgets and future jobs. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, with basic transition phrases like 'So at the last' used awkwardly at the end. Referencing is often unclear, leaving the reader to guess the connections between clauses and sentences. Overall, the structural limitations restrict the text to a Band 4.0 descriptor.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used throughout the essay is basic and repetitive, frequently relying on simple words and phrases such as 'important part', 'learn', 'fit your body', and 'more activities'. There are numerous non-standard lexical choices and awkward collocations, such as 'went to eat drugs', 'injections put', and 'today time'. Spelling and word-form errors are widespread, including 'Physcial', 'Collage', and 'effets'. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey a rough gist of the writer's enthusiasm for health and exercise, the frequent inaccuracies and limited range mean it does not fully achieve a Band 5.0, settling firmly at Band 4.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The grammatical range is very limited, consisting predominantly of simple sentences and faulty attempts at complex structures. There are frequent grammatical errors that often hinder comprehension, such as missing auxiliary verbs, incorrect tense usage (e.g., 'when i was going to school and i will learn'), and poor subject-verb agreement. Punctuation is also problematic, with run-on sentences and missing capitalization at the beginning of sentences (e.g., 'the most important part'). Because errors are frequent and recurrent across most sentences, causing noticeable difficulty for the reader, the grammar performance corresponds to Band 4.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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