Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Barron's Writing · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child's education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time.

Discuss both these views, and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

"The topic illustrates physical education classes.Physical educational classes are very

important in life of children's education.There are many advantages of physical education

classes.it helps to improve vocabalary and Grammar.It helps in children lessons.

There are other advantages of physical education classes.There are alot of topics which

children did not understand in home or in academy.

For example:"Teacher performed role of studying many students."

So,with the help of teacher many students understand topics easily.

On the other Hand Some people argue that is more important focus on academy subjects.

There are many subjects which likes many students For example:English,Mathematics etc.

But some students did not understand many topics in school.So they joined academy for their

studying subjects.Many people says that joining academy improves grades of children.

Therefore,many students joined school and acadmey both for their good performance.

Now a days,A lot of academy and school plays an important role in Life.Some subjects are

very difficult to understand and memorize it.But Many teachers helps many students in these

problems.But there is one most important thing is that children should study in their home.

There were a lot of students who do not interest in studies.As a result,they did not improve

their grades.And they did not improve their results.So,Academy and School both plays a good

role in Life.But it depends on mainly students.Finally,Most students improves their grades and

marks by focus and Concentration.The conclusion is that physical education classes and

focus on academic both plays an an effective role in Life.In my opinion Child's education

depends on how much time they studying."

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response makes a limited attempt to discuss the topic, but it does not address the two views as the question defines them. The prompt asks about physical education versus academic study; instead, most of the essay discusses school and private academies, and the claim that physical education improves “vocabalary and Grammar” does not explain its educational or physical benefits. The academic side is also mainly about where students study and whether they improve their grades. Your final sentence gives a personal view, but “depends on how much time they studying” is unclear and does not resolve the comparison. To improve, explain a relevant benefit of physical education, develop the case for academic focus, and state clearly how schools should balance the two.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is some basic sequencing, with phrases such as “On the other Hand,” “Therefore,” and “Finally” signalling movement between points. However, the ideas are not arranged coherently around the two sides of the actual question: the discussion shifts from physical education to teachers, academies, home study, and grades without clear links. Paragraphing is also weak, as many short, separated lines interrupt the development rather than grouping related ideas into focused paragraphs. Repeated conclusions about schools and academies further blur the progression. Plan one paragraph for each view and a final paragraph for your opinion, using each paragraph to develop one central point and connect it explicitly to the question.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on “many,” “important,” “students,” “subjects,” and “grades.” Some phrases are difficult to interpret or do not express the intended idea, such as “Teacher performed role of studying many students” and “There are a lot of topics which children did not understand in home or in academy.” Spelling and word-form errors, including “vocabalary,” “acadmey,” and “academy subjects,” also reduce clarity. There are a few useful topic-related terms, such as “Mathematics,” “grades,” and “concentration,” but the response needs more precise vocabulary connected to physical education and academic learning. Build a small set of accurate phrases for benefits, comparisons, and examples, then check spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response relies mainly on short, simple statements and shows limited control of sentence structure. Errors in agreement and verb forms occur repeatedly: “many teachers helps,” “many students improves,” and “both plays” should use plural verb forms. Other examples include “it depends on mainly students” and “how much time they studying,” where the sentence structure is incomplete or incorrectly ordered. Articles and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “in life of children's education” and the frequent missing spaces after commas and full stops. Some meaning remains understandable, but these recurring errors make several sentences awkward or unclear. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add controlled clauses with “because,” “although,” and “while,” checking subject–verb agreement and complete verb forms.

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