Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Barron's Writing · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child's education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time.

Discuss both these views, and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this contemporary era, it is true that education is vital for individual growth therefore many peopel belive that pysical education are an important part of child's education. while, other people reject this notaion and think that only academics are essential for there good future. In this essay i discuss both views and give my own view in upcoming paragraphs.

On the one hand , there are many individual belive that physical education is important as academics becues they think that theoritical knowledge is only based on theory so they only gain theory based knowledge but when they leran about physical education they improve there overall helth . For example, according to recent servy most of the children suffer from obesity and heart diseses so when they do some exercies and some physical game like cricket and footboll they can do lot of cardiyoand decrese risk of obesity and othere diseses. Moreover children can learn team mamegment and grope work whiche are latter help thaem in there jobs . So due to this reasone many people support physical educastion is important during school time .

On the other hand, academic subjects are equally important becuse they provide students with essential knowledge and skills. Subject such as mathematics and sicence are improve theire critical thinking and develop their mind . moreover , that type of academic subjects help to bulild great future in job market in get opportunities for employment. For instace, student who want to become doctors, engineers or scientists need a strong academic foundation to achieve thier professional goals.

In conclusion, although academic education is necessary for career development, physical activities are equally important for helthy lifestyle. In my opinion, school should maintain a proper balance between physical education and academic studies rather than prioritising one over the othere.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and state a clear opinion in the conclusion: schools should balance physical education and academic study. The academic paragraph gives relevant examples of subjects and careers, while the physical-education paragraph explains health benefits and teamwork. This covers the task, but the two views are not developed equally: the academic case is brief, and the link between teamwork at school and later employment is asserted rather than explained. The health example also relies on a broad claim about children’s illnesses without showing how this supports the role of school classes specifically. To strengthen the response, explain each side’s benefits in more depth and connect your examples directly to the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion that returns to your position. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow the discussion. However, some connections feel mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “Moreover” and “So due to this reason.” The opening sentence is difficult to follow because several ideas are joined together, and the transition from the health example to teamwork could be smoother. Improve cohesion by using clearer sentence boundaries and by showing how each supporting point relates to the paragraph’s main idea. Referencing such as “that type of academic subjects” is also not fully clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “obesity,” “critical thinking,” “academic foundation,” and “professional goals,” and you attempt some less common expressions such as “employment opportunities” and “team management.” However, spelling errors are frequent and sometimes make the reader pause, as in “peopel,” “pysical,” “theoritical,” and “diseses.” There are also word-choice and collocation problems: “do a lot of cardio” is informal and awkward in this context, while “build great future in job market” is not natural phrasing. The range is sufficient to communicate the main ideas, but more accurate spelling and more natural academic collocations are needed for clearer, more flexible expression.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a reason clause beginning “because” and a relative clause in “students who want to become doctors.” The main ideas are generally understandable, but some grammatical errors occur across the response. For example, “physical education are” has subject–verb disagreement, “Subject such as mathematics and science are improve” has an incorrect verb construction, and “In this essay i discuss” lacks appropriate capitalization and tense consistency. Articles and plural forms also need attention, as in “a child’s education” and “heart diseases.” To improve, check agreement and verb forms in each sentence, and use full stops to separate long or joined clauses. More accurate control of these patterns would make your varied sentence attempts easier to read.

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