Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Barron's Writing · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some educational systems, children are required to study one or more foreign languages. In others, foreign language study is not a requirement. What are the potential benefits of foreign language study?
Do you think foreign language study is an important part of education?
Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In many cities, people are spending less time with their families because they are working longer hours and have increasingly busy lifestyles. what problems can this cause, and what solutions can you suggest?
In several cities, people are having demanding work schedules and hectic lifestyles, which results in the lack of family time. This can trigger family relationships and cause physical mental health issues, as these difficulties can be resolved with the flexibility in working hours and balancing the family time.
One major drawback is the loss of strong family connections. When people regularly work overtime or remain busy with the office work after returning home, so they do not get chance to interact with their loved ones, which results in weak family bonding. Another concern is the unhealthy lifestyle and emotional stress. Although parents are working longer hours to provide the quality of life to their children, they don't get enough time to have mental break from their professional life. Moreover, they have less time to invest in their
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0
The response is significantly off-topic. The prompt asked for an essay on the benefits of foreign language study and whether it should be part of education, but you wrote about work-life balance and family time. Furthermore, the response is only 170 words, failing the 250-word minimum requirement. Because the task was not addressed, the content is irrelevant to the prompt, which severely impacts the score. To improve, you must carefully read the prompt before writing and ensure your ideas directly answer the specific questions asked. You must also ensure you meet the minimum word count to allow for full development of your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay is incomplete and ends abruptly mid-sentence, which disrupts the logical flow. While you attempted to use paragraphing, the lack of a conclusion and the unfinished nature of the final paragraph make the overall structure incoherent. You used some basic cohesive devices like 'One major drawback' and 'Moreover', but the progression of ideas is hindered by the fact that the essay does not address the actual topic. To improve, ensure you complete your thoughts and use a wider variety of linking words to connect your arguments logically.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally simple and repetitive. You used phrases like 'demanding work schedules', 'hectic lifestyles', and 'physical mental health issues'. While these are relevant to the topic you chose to write about, they are somewhat basic. There is little evidence of less common or idiomatic language. To achieve a higher band, you should aim to use more precise collocations and a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic. For example, instead of 'busy lifestyles', you could use 'fast-paced environments' or 'professional pressures'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are several grammatical errors throughout the text. For instance, 'people are having demanding work schedules' is slightly unnatural; 'people have demanding work schedules' would be better. You also have issues with sentence structure, such as 'so they do not get chance', where the 'so' is redundant. There are also punctuation and phrasing errors, such as 'provide the quality of life to their children'. You need to focus on using a mix of complex sentence structures while ensuring that your basic grammar, such as article usage and verb tense, is accurate.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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