Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Barron's Writing · 2026-08-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many parts of the world, people rely on private cars for transportation.
In what ways does reliance on private cars affect the way we live?
Do the effects tend to be positive or negative?
Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Task-2
Purchasing unnecessary goods became a popular trend nowadays as some masses get stuck in the debt by following it. This essay will put light on the reasons of this behaviour and will give my viewpoints on how people can take measures to get rid of this problem.
One of the most prominent reasons of byying unwanted items is the attraction of the advertisements. Huge companies and brands present advertise their product in certain ways through which populace get easily attracted towards them. In addition, they do variety of comparisons in terms of price and offer massive discounts through which some residents purchase it even if there is no need. Furthermore, due to the advancement in the technological sector, people are shifting to online shopping which is making them buy useless products just by sitting at homes. Many online stores and websites offer regular sales so that people just grab their offers by clicking a button.
Nevertheless, this significantly growing trend can be controlled by various efforts such as shifting to offline shopping or buying from legitimate stores. Additionally, people should stop exploring low-standard sites such as like Temu or Shein which offers cheap quality of unusual products at discounted rates. Moreover, a habit of buying things offline should be implemented.
so that they only focus on desired items they want.
To recapitulate, this ongoing trends consists of multiple drawbacks through which it results in below average financial status. Hence, it can be controlled by taking proper precautions and measures so that no one can face this problem ever.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 2.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 2.0
The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks for an essay regarding the reliance on private cars and its effects on our lives. However, the student has written an essay about the trend of purchasing unnecessary goods and consumer debt. Because the response fails to address the task question entirely, it cannot be assessed for task development or position. According to the IELTS criteria, a response that is off-topic must be penalised heavily in Task Achievement, as it does not address the prompt provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, and there is an attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'Furthermore', and 'Nevertheless'. However, the logical flow is hampered by the fact that the content does not relate to the prompt. Paragraphing is present, but the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is mechanical. While the structure is visible, the lack of relevance to the topic makes the overall coherence ineffective.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for basic communication, including terms like 'prominent', 'advertisements', and 'technological sector'. There are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'byying' (spelling error) and 'put light on' (should be 'shed light on'). The range is sufficient to express ideas, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. The vocabulary is repetitive in places, and the student relies on common phrases rather than more sophisticated or academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'get stuck in the debt' (article error), 'reasons of byying' (preposition error), and 'which offers cheap quality' (subject-verb agreement error). Punctuation is generally functional, though there are issues with sentence fragments, such as the orphan sentence 'so that they only focus on desired items they want.' These errors occur frequently but do not completely impede the reader's understanding of the student's intended meaning.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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