Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Barron's Writing · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many parts of the world, people rely on private cars for transportation.
In what ways does reliance on private cars affect the way we live?
Do the effects tend to be positive or negative?
Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In recent years, it has been discovered that some individuals depend on the self-owned car to transport them to everywhere they want to go. In my opinion, this is a negative development because depending on personal way of transportation can be disappointing when not expected.
To commence with, total dependence on self-transportation can prevent someone from attaining a particular sometimes. This is as a result of some unforeseen circumstances of vehicles. For instance, a man that is going for an interview with his private car but unfortunately the vehicle stops working on the road while in a traffic jam, it would be difficult to park the car to go look for an alternative means to meet up with the schedule time than those going by public transports.
The primary reason why this is a negative development is that, when driving in one's personal hinders others to render needed help to such a person. For instance, a person with a high blood pressure driving cannot be helped when the crisis that arises as a result leads to the person losing his life untimely, compared to someone in the public transport which many people would be there to assist.
In conclusion, depending totally on self- transportation should not be encouraged in some situations because it may be cause someone losing a huge contract and also the negativity tends to cause untimely death.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the negative impacts of private car reliance, such as mechanical failure and lack of social support. However, the essay is under the 250-word minimum, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. The arguments are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the example regarding high blood pressure is unclear and does not logically follow the premise of car reliance. To improve, you must expand your points with more detailed explanations and ensure you meet the minimum word count to allow for a full exploration of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, and there is a basic attempt at logical progression. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'To commence with' and 'This is as a result of' are used, but the flow between sentences is frequently disrupted by awkward phrasing. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. Improving the use of transition signals and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus would help improve the overall coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and sometimes imprecise. Phrases like 'self-owned car' and 'self-transportation' are repetitive and unnatural. There are also issues with word choice, such as 'attaining a particular sometimes' and 'untimely death', which do not convey the intended meaning clearly. While the vocabulary is sufficient to communicate basic ideas, it lacks the range and precision required for a higher band score. You should focus on learning more academic collocations and synonyms to avoid repeating basic terms throughout your essay.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Examples include 'a man that is going for an interview... but unfortunately the vehicle stops' and 'when driving in one's personal hinders others'. These errors involve subject-verb agreement, sentence fragments, and awkward clause construction. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors is high. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be a beneficial next step.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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